Sugar High

It's that time of year when all your hard work at the gym during Fall comes to a screeching halt with the tidal wave of holiday goodies that flood the office. I swear, every spare inch of desk and counter space in our office has a plate of sweet treats on it. Now, I'm not innocent bystander...I spent the past weekend being a nice combination of Martha Stewart and Santa's Little Helper by whipping up dozens of cookies...literally. So, one of the plates of sweets at my office is from my own little kitchen of sin.

I don't normally have a sweet tooth but something about the holidays changes that. I literally had a banana and 3 cookies for breakfast (at least I had a banana in the mix) this morning! I mean, my justification of needing to try each type is fine...but then I find myself going back for round 2. Do I think that the quality of cookie varies within one batch? Do I think that the cookies non-existing feelings will be hurt if I walk by without paying them notice? Nope. None of the above. I just lose control...it's like that little piece of us from childhood...the one that would cause you to lay on the ground kicking and screaming...it comes back...that irrational, out of control, ridiculous behavior, only now it's directed at copious amounts of cookies instead of My Little Pony's latest castle.

I suppose I could continue to pawn my cookies off on others...but let's be honest, I'll still sneak a plate full for myself.

Tis the season

This is that time of year when the days seem to whiz by at the blink of an eye. Suddenly it's only 2 weeks until Christmas and you haven't even begun to think about Christmas shopping, let alone buy anything. I look at my calendar and it's not visions of sugarplums that dance in my head, but visions of cookies to bake and presents to wrap and parties to attend and friends to see. I generally create a list of things to do that is a mile long. In many ways, I enjoy feeling slightly overwhelmed...it gets my wheels turning, gets the engines revved. I tend to be more productive when I have 36 hours of things to do in a 24 hour day.

Tonights list:
- Plan cookie making list
- Grocery store for dinner items, milk and cookie ingredients
- Cook dinner
- Look through closet for party dress options for weekend
- Organize craft items for tomorrow
- Plan Thursday potluck
- Online holiday shopping
- Read

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

"When it snows, ain't it thrilling, though your nose gets a chilling. We'll frolic and play, the Eskimo way, walkin in a winter wonderland."



Although the true "definition" of hooky is the failure to attend, I like to think of yesterday as a "hooky" day. I did, in fact, fail to attend work...granted, it was a pre-approved paid vacation day, but still...it is more fun to call it hooky.

Yesterday was one of those days where you can't help but love Winter. I woke to a cloudy sky and snow lightly falling. I had a partner in crime for the day who was playing hooky in a more official way and was skipping class. We set out for a day of spontaneous adventure which was supposed to begin with a romp around the ice skating rink at Leddy Park. However, for some unknown reason when we arrived, it appeared they had chosen to close public skate 45 minutes early...it was very disappointing. We pressed on though, kept spirits high and hit the highway en route to Warren. I've been hearing about The Warren Store for so long and figured now was as good of a time as ever to finally check it out. The place is adorable...quaint and filled with little treasures of years past. The old fashioned candy reminded me of my years in Arizona and visiting the old fashioned candy store in Bisbee..the memories came flooding back. We enjoyed some lunch and hot beverages there, then checked out the surrounding stores, the view of the river and then popped into The Pitcher Inn. That place is gorgeous...rustic chic perhaps? We were both amazed to see such a beautiful place in the middle of a tiny town of Vermont...there were, no doubt, visions of staying there in the future.

After exploring Warren, we ventured back into Waitsfield and I gave a mini tour of The Round Barn...the last time I had been was for Emma and Kevin's wedding over a year ago. It's really a beautiful spot. One of my favorite new discoveries there was the exact replica, miniature version, across the street. If there hadn't been perfectly untouched snow surrounding it, I would have ventured over for a photo. The Round Barn was followed by a second attempt at Ice Skating at the Skatium in Waitsfield. The rink is not yet opened but it is a cute little outdoor rink and the guy currently managing it was a very pleasant individual...we had a nice conversation with him and his shaggy dog. I am so excited to venture back for a leisurely outdoor skate sometime soon.

The adventure continued with an attempt to find Huntington Gorge. We were unsuccessful but in the best way possible. We found ourselves driving through some of the most beautiful backroads in VT...the snow on the trees was literally breathtaking. At every turn we were exclaiming, "this is so beautiful!".

If only we had worn snow clothes and/or brought snowshoes, we could have truly enjoyed it in all it's splendor.

After many attempts at finding the gorge, we opted for a few Shed Mountain Ale's at Toscano Cafe Bistro. It was here that we came to the conclusion that all Richmond-ers are coached to misdirect non-locals who inquire about finding the Gorge...we were told multiple different routes, none of which seemed to work. The beers were exactly what we needed for the snowy winter day.

It was really a great day...and a day that created lists of more fun things on the to-do-outside-of-Burlington list.

Where I Come From

Thanksgiving has come and gone. Seeing my family always recharges me, realigns me, reignites me. We have such an incredible bond, such an unshakable love for each other. Many people dread going home for holidays, I look forward to it, relish every moment. I get to sleep in the same room as my oldest sister and feel like we're kids again, bunking up and telling stories before we fall asleep. Granted, the stories have changed, but not much else. My parents are amazing, and like little teenagers...they love to laugh and play and goof off. A great dynamic of my family is our conversations. We talk about so many things...world issues, politics, love, science, pop culture, fashion, music. You could walk into a room one minute and hear us discussing the horrors in Darfur and come back an hour later and we're chatting about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's next child. We are all so alike but bring such unique specialties to the table that compliment each other like a perfectly paired wine and cheese. We share a bond that I can only hope will transpire to my future potential family.

The whole fam at Happy Hour

Dad carving the turkey

Boat ride down the Okefenokee Swamp

Various topics

I feel like a variety of interesting things have transpired lately. In an effort to keep this post exciting, I am throwing chronological order out the window! These quips will flow as they flow in my mind at this very moment.

We just had another book club meeting to discuss The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. As always, the discussion was well rounded and colorful with every woman bringing a different set of views to the table. I love leaving book club feeling like I have a whole new understanding of a book I just read and thought I had all figured out. I was, however, the one possessing probably the most controversial opinion as to the ending. I hate to say it but I was disappointed she didn't commit suicide in the book, although perhaps Sylvia Plath's real life is the true answer.

I feel like I can finally reveal the theme behind a few of my latest posts. I stumbled upon someone a few weeks ago and have found myself quickly falling into an amazing relationship. There are behaviors I exhibit that I don't recognize and I realize it is because I have never met someone that fit so well. It hasn't been much time and some people may say I am getting ahead of myself but the difference is I know where he stands and we are honest and open and both share the common interest that we value our time together in a way we never imagined or planned. I couldn't be more pleased.

There are more new things in the works...things of altruism and giving back that I'm very excited to explore more. I am realizing why things are so great right now and it's because the people around me are amazing and inspiring and I am continuing to meet more amazing people that I can already tell will have a big impact on me. There are certain people that, upon seeing each other and then separating, I feel such satisfaction of my time spent with them that I realize how lucky I am to have them in my life.

Thanks-Giving

Things I'm thankful this holiday season:
Family
Friends...my family away from my blood relatives
Health
Opportunity
Chance meetings and new beginnings
Gathering with those we love to enjoy good food, good wine and good conversation

Winter is here

Snow fell today. I didn't physically see it, but other people told me about it. I was woken around 6am by my dear sweet roommate...the one with 4 legs who meows and demands constant attention. I didn't get out of bed, but I know at that very moment it was snowing. I didn't have to look out the window, I could feel it. Sometimes I think our bodies and souls just know things.

I recently stumbled upon a new pair of shoes, shoes that fit so perfectly I wouldn't have imagined they actually existed. These shoes were custom made, one of a kind. If only everyone could see how great they feel on, how perfect they look and how I could walk all day in them, never tiring. I think I'll keep these shoes for a long time...perhaps a very long time.

Unfamiliarity

I am walking in unfamiliar territory. But unfamiliar in the best way possible. The last week has been, well, indescribable. I can barely wrap my head around it to be honest. One instance, a random coming-together-of-things, has turned out to be something I wouldn't have imagined. Maybe I've always had a secret door, hidden out of sight and it's just never been found before...before last week that is.

I have learned a lot of things in the past few months, past year even, that I feel like was all preparation for what's going on...I wouldn't be here, wouldn't be baffled by one week, if everything hadn't happened prior. I feel really lucky. I've realized things I never knew I always wanted. I don't question myself. I don't hold back. I don't fear vulnerability. I don't feel confused. I feel stronger. I feel inspired. I feel challenged. I feel different. I feel great...really great.

Changes

A lot of things are changing. The weather is shifting into winter; cool nights walking with a light jacket and scarf have morphed into thicker jackets, gloves and chattering teeth. My best friend from college has moved to Nicaragua to do some work for a bit. My hair seems to get darker with every cut. The way I spend my time is changing. Priorities are changing.

It's a weird thing, an unfamiliar thing, when something just works so smoothly, when something doesn't require much effort. I never pictured myself having the best 14 hours of nothing, of things unplanned. I'm a planner when it comes to new endeavors. Spontaneity has rarely worked in the past unless in very familiar territory. 14 hours...am I changing or did I just figure something out that I was turning a blind eye to before? It is change or recognition? Is it a product of experiences and dotting the i's, crossing the t's to realize what I really wanted and needed?

It's funny how something unexpected can warp your whole sense of being...warp it into something you didn't know you were capable of.

Timing is everything

You know, I've heard that "timing is everything" for a long time but sometimes it is hard to really accept when the timing isn't right, right now. However, I'm becoming more of a believer. Missed opportunity that annoyed a person, can make a full circle down the road. Chance happenings can have greater meaning. I do not believe in coincidences...there is a purpose in most everything, every "coincidence". What I'm realizing is, with a little reflecting on things, you can realize why things may have passed you by in previous months or even years, only to come back at you down the road. Perhaps you weren't ready...ready for a challenge, a change. Perhaps there was no time for anything new or different. Perhaps you weren't mentally able to take this thing on. Perhaps you needed more experience under your belt to be able to make it work.

I went to a really amazing forum this morning for Women Leaders and some amazing things were said. Things that don't necessarily relate to the above, but in some ways do. Approaching a goal one small piece at a time versus attacking the big picture...figuring out how to get to the corner before trying to get to the bridge down the road...learning along the way and collecting experience with each step.

It's exciting. And hopefully only the beginning.

The weather outside is frightful...

Well, I guess the end of fall is officially here, and winter is slowly creeping in. Today it didn't feel so much like creeping, more of a bursting in. Although the temperature isn't all that bad (low 40's), it is one of the bone-cold days...the wind and air seem to break through any barrier and find their way directly to your bones...the only real remedy is a hot shower followed by a hot fire and some warm cider. Too bad I don't have a fireplace.

I go back and forth on how I'm feeling about winter this year. Last year winter and I, well, not best friends. I was pretty miserable and disliking every cold day, boycotting the mountain, hating shoveling my car out. I moved here from Florida...give me a little break. And to top it off, I spent the first 22 of my 25 years in warm, sunny climates so despite being in my 3rd year of Vermont winters, there is something in me that will forever seek warmth and sun. This year, although I dread those days where it's so cold you can barely walk, the wind biting at the few centimeters of bare skin, I am looking forward to other things...I've decided I have to if I'm going to survive it. Things like long Saturday brunches with friends and too much coffee. Red wine in the basement at 1/2. Snowboarding and Shed Mountain Ale. Weekend trips to fight off the stagnation of small town winters. Lots of cooking with friends. Snowy days filled with good books and classic movies. Another one of those massive storms like Valentines Day last year would be pretty great too...there's nothing like the empty sound after a major snowstorm.

All Hallows Eve

I remember being young and getting ready to Trick or Treat on Halloween. My mom always made some elaborate and amazing costume for me and my sisters. Black cats, mermaids, Cleopatra, belly dancer, Toucan. Generally, aside from decorations, Halloween only took place on October 31st. We'd trick or treat then race into our rooms to escape seeing our dad looking quite frightening in his hunchback costume and creepy mask. There was, however, the year we threw the amazing Halloween party at my house complete with a fortune teller, dry ice, a haunted house, face painting and crazy games...I think I was 10.

Now that I'm older, Halloween seems to span the length of a full week, depending on when October 31st falls. This year, it falls on a Wednesday so the Friday and Saturday before provided plenty of costume party options. I hate to say it, but Halloween's have been lacking for me since leaving college. This year, however, could prove to change that. On the official day of ghosts, goblins, ghouls and everything in between, I will be attending the Village Halloween Parade in NYC with a good friend of mine. It has been voted as one of the Best Events in the World, and something I look forward to checking off the list of Festivals to see before I die.

On that note, Festivals I hope to see before I die (list continuing to grow):
- Carnaval in Rio. Check
- Village Halloween Parade, NYC. Soon to be checked
- Full Moon Festival, Thailand.
- Burning Man, Nevada.
- Oktoberfest, Germany.
- Mardi Gras, New Orleans
- St. Patricks Day, Dublin.

Stay tuned for photos from my upcoming NYC Halloween.

Note: A "ghoul" is the original word used to describe what we now call a "zombie"...in case you were confused.

Cause and Effect?

Weather cools, leaves change.
Birthdays pass, wisdom grows.
Sun shines, smiles appear.
Warmth given, judgment passed.
Food cooks, smells waft.
Sports played, losers blamed.
Rain falls, umbrellas open.
Friends join, bonds strengthen.
Life pauses, time doesn't.

You are what you eat?

Recently, I've gotten into a few conversations with various people as well as thinking about it myself - the thought of whether we are what we do for work, if work defines us, or if it is separate. I do not believe that work defines me. Work is something I do to enjoy other things in life. Work does have a major role in my life solely based on the amount of time it consumes. I spend a minimum of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week doing it. Each year I spend at least one entire month logging over 70 hours a week, I usually work 8-10 weekends every year, I usually travel over a dozen times a year solely for work. So yes, work does consume a good quantity of my life. But my life is not defined by it...I do not live and breath my work, I do not get emotional over my work, I do not let work dictate the pleasures I enjoy in life. I let work be a catalyst for other endeavors, rendezvous, free vacations.

Work and life may walk side by side, but they do not necessarily hold hands in my mind. When I leave work, I leave work. I rarely talk about it outside the office because, lets be honest, who really cares about the fact that I had to place a multi-thousand dollar order for electricity and plumbing for a 20x20 footprint for 2 days, as well as setting up calls with 8 retailers to discuss their store layout and capabilities? Especially people who aren't in my work field, it means nothing to them. Why is it though, that so many people leave their office and continue to spend the rest of their evening whining over their tough day, or talking to someone about xyz when that person doesn't even know what xyz means? Life and work are like Church and State...they will always co-exist but should never have an impact on each other. It is one thing for your life to inspire you at work and for your work to inspire you in life. But I say, don't take your life into your work, don't take your work into your life.

The Rain in Spain Falls Mainly on the Plain

Yesterday I was starring out my office window at beautiful blue skies and an almost visible crisp fall air. Today I look at gray skies, drizzling rain, gloomy thick air. I think back 24 hours to when I said how much easier it is to sit at my desk when the weather is gray. Well, perhaps I was wrong. I sit at my desk thinking about how great it would be to be curled up on my couch with my latest bookclub book in hand, a little jazz or classical music wafting through the air, a freshly made cappuccino beside me, Oliver curled up by my head purring gently.

Perhaps it's not the weather that determines my desire to sit at a desk all day. Perhaps I just get listless, hour upon hour spent sitting at a computer screen. Perhaps I get bored, waiting for answers from clients, phone calls from vendors, files from the designers. I hate wasting time in transit, I equally hate wasting time in waiting.

Case of the Mondays

I've been really into the blog lately, and am loving it.

At the current moment, I'm sitting at my desk, looking out the window at what is one of the most beautiful days all year, yesterday being it's toughest competition. Days like this make me have a serious case of the Mondays. When it's raining and ugly out, I don't mind being stuck at a desk, starring at a computer screen all day. When there's a soft breeze, that crisp fall air, mid 70's and not a cloud in the sky, my desk is the last place I want to be. Sitting outside on Church w/a cup of tea and a good book. Taking a little drive, maybe doing a short hike. That is what I want to be doing right now.

At any rate. This past weekend was one of the more fun weekends of Fall so far. It began with one of my favorite things - Round Tha Hood, the south-end block party that is in it's 2nd year. The themes this year were Fireside at Emi and Kev's, Fraternity Party at Jessica's, Jazz Lounge at Sheehan's, Shotsville at Soe and Colin's and the British Pub at my place.

Fraternity Party!

House Hopping Ladies

Kev enjoying the wood bench at the Jazz Lounge

Scenes leading up to my finger being engulfed in a blue flame

It was a very successful event despite the torrential downpour and various other antics including, but not limited to a wood bench photo scene, Zima's and wine coolers, Colin poking people in the eye, Christina sliding down stairs and handles of Scotch.

Saturday was pretty much a wash due to Fridays antics, although I did manage to witness a french fry eating contest between Bannister and Isaac. My money was on Bannister and she came through in the end consuming just over 28 ounces of McD's fries (GROSS).

Isaac looked like he was experiencing serious vertigo at ounce 26 so called it quits.

After surviving witnessing that event, I met up w/Becky and we enjoyed a very delicious dinner at Tiny Thai. Apparently the host really liked us as he ended up seating us before people that had been waiting for 20 minutes. Good laughs and great convo, as always.

Sunday was one of those days that can't be beat. I woke up early, cleaned the house, walked to New Moon for coffee and a muffin and reading my NY Times, strolling and shopping on Church, riding a horse, baking and cooking then a little soiree at the Square for Mr. Wasuck's 31st. Good times rehashing the Round Tha Hood and listening to Bannisters words of alcohol wisdom - "Every season is drinking season".


Epic weekend complete. I'm in pretty much an amazing mood and feeling really great, really happy. I love fall.

Doors and windows

Sometimes I hesitate when I hear a knock at the door...only opening it a crack, weary to open it all the way for fear of what might come whooshing in, out of my control. Sometimes I open a window and peak down at the door, see what's knocking. Once in a while, when I'm sure I know exactly what's at the door, I let them come in on their own...locks undone, door wide open. Am I too worried about what lurks in the darkness or realistic about what bad could come from a false sense of safety? Is it better to just leave the door unlocked and let the ways of the world take their course...fight off the bad, embrace the good?

I had a neighbor in college who used to sneak in and take things without asking. Did it make me more protective? Perhaps. Although I knew the items were in good hands, hands I trusted, maybe they took one too many items and changed my view.

Although I keep the chain on my door and remove it slowly, once I do remove the chain and let fully in, the door is always open, day or night, rain or shine, whether I'm home or not. An open door for me is an open ended ticket, all country pass to wherever you desire.

Passion

Last night I saw "Across the Universe" at the Roxy.
It was a really great movie...a nice change from the movies of late. In some ways it reminded me of Moulin Rouge with its musical outbursts, dances amidst the normal story telling, general dialogue intermixed with flashbacks and dreams and floating objects.

I think one thing that really stuck with me about the movie was that era...the 60's and early 70's. It was a time when people believed in something and didn't just internalize those beliefs...they did something about them. The most obvious of that being the opposition to the Vietnam War...the protests and rallies and anti-draft actions. It makes me sad that, when in a similar situation (minus the draft), a war that so many people are against yet a generation that is proactive, we aren't as passionate about showing our opposition as they were in the 60's. They were fearless. Jail, police, tear gas, death...none of the potential consequences of their actions deterred them.


Not only was that time about passion for their feelings of the war, but passion of everything. Whether it was for sex drugs and rock and roll, or art, or a cause, people had passion and a lot of it. Society didn't dictate what they did like it does now. Sometimes I wish I lived then...a time when love was free and hitch hiking was safe. Art was less commercialized. Anti-establishment was a way of life. Peace and harmony were truth.

Fall = Food, fun, films, flings, festivities

It's almost as if the earth's axis makes a full 90 degree change with the onset of Fall. I can feel it in the air, I can taste it in the food, I can sense it in the company of others. For me, Fall becomes a time of bundling up on the couch with a good book or movie. A time when my cooking goes into high gear and I even engage in some baking. A time when the bars get replaced with a close group of friends in a cozy living room with plenty of wine and spirits. A time when the chill in the air brings people together. A time when I relish retreating to the dark cave of movie theaters and enjoying an escape from reality, if only for an hour or two.

This past weekend a group of close friends celebrated the big 3-0 for Elisa. It was pretty much a perfect Saturday gathering...wine, a cozy home, lots of good food, hanging out on the couches, mingling.

I loved spending the whole day shopping for food then baking and cooking. The gloomy outside made me so pleased to be indoors, enjoying wafts of warm air from the oven filled with the smell of spices. Fall ignites the senses within me...colors liven up, smells deepen, tastes soften, touches warm the soul. It's really a great time of year.

Appreciation

It is a very true thing that sometimes we don't realize the value of something until it's gone, or soon to be gone. Sometimes it takes knowing that something will not be within reach to realize what it means to you.

Recently, news came to me of a move. I knew it was a possibility but it was still a bit of a shock. Not long after shock, I began to realize a lot of things. I realized how much this meant to me. I realized the things that had been shared. I realize the laughter that had transpired. I realized the doors that had slowly begun to open, obvious or not. I realized the warmth and comfort. I realized the honesty. I realized the companionship. I realized the consistency. I realized how different it had been, how much it had changed me. Realization then led to sadness. Sadness that it took the soon-to-be-removal for me to realize these things, appreciate these things. It made me sad that it means the finality of one aspect, the potential. Regardless of the capacity they exist in, it made me sad.

"Some people come in to our lives and quickly leave. Others stay for a while, leave a footprint in our heart and we are never ever the same."

Time and space

I'm really bad at calling people back...it's one of my faults and I openly admit it. This especially applies to far away friends that I don't see often, which seems backwards. But I think it's knowing that we'll be on the phone for hours catching up, so I have to make sure I have ample time to devote to the conversation.

I was online today and noticed that one of my best friends from college was now listed as single. A few months ago he called to tell me the big news that he was engaged, so naturally you can imagine my shock of seeing "Single" in his profile. I immediately emailed him asking what was up and to give me details ASAP. His response just about broke my heart. A girl he thought he was going to marry and spend the rest of his life with made a 180 and a lot of stuff happened in a month period...stuff I shouldn't mention here...stuff one can only hope they never have to go through. It made me sad...sad that I was only now finding this out although it had happened in early summer. This is a person who I lived with for a year in college with my two other best guy friends...one of three guys and a very small handful of people that really know me like no one else. Someone who was there for me when I was sick or stressed or sad. Someone who knows my ticks and idiosyncacies, what makes me laugh, what makes me cry. Someone who's mother knows me and used to ask to say hi to me whenver she'd call the house. Someone who, together with our other two guy roommates, gave me probably the best Valentines Day I'll ever have. A guy who I went to during one of the most down and out periods of my life and sat on his floor and begged him to tell me what to do. Someone I consider my family. How had I let so much time go by between talking? Not that I feel we need to talk daily or even weekly, but the fact we've gotten far enough apart to not call when major things like this occur...it truly saddened me.

I suppose on the flip side of things, we talked as if no time had passed really, minus the major update. We can always do that. Now we are trying to plan a trip, to take off and explore a bit, something we had always talked about in college.

The other thing it made me realize was just how much we've all grown up...people I spent every waking hour w/in college who are now getting engaged, getting their hearts broken, moving, getting PhD's, considering families, owning homes. I suppose some days we wake up and realize it's a later then we thought...later in the day, week, year.

Back in the saddle.

Cody and I


A little known fact about me - I rode horses very competitively for 10 years while in FL...in fact, I still own a horse who lives in FL. It was basically my life for 10 years. I rode probably 4-5 days a week and competed all year long. My horse lived at my house for most of that time so when I wasn't on the back of a horse, I was cleaning stalls, polishing tack, bringing her in or putting her out in the field, and other various barn tasks. I trained probably over 20 horses and ponies, rode dozens, and showed probably over a dozen different horses throughout the years. After leaving home to go to college, the amount of time I spent in the saddle was fairly limited. I got accepted onto the University of Florida Equestrian Team but didn't have enough time for it. I rode whenever I went to see my parents and occasionally went home to show other peoples horses on the weekends.

A few weeks ago I got back in the saddle and onto the back of Indie, a friend of a friend's horse, followed by Christina's horse Cody. Since that day, I have been riding a few times a week and last weekend competed in my first horse show in over 5 years. It was exhilarating. Cody did great for his first show doing jumping.

Many people find horses scary, or at least intimidating. To me, it is like home. When I am around horses, and especially on their backs, it's an escape, a retreat. The world slips away, my problems dissolve and things become more clear. When I had a bad day in FL, I would go straight to the barn and onto my horse, even if just to walk around. It is just natural to me, and has been from the first moment I began riding. There are very few sports I'm any good at, but riding is something I'm great at and can openly say that.

Being back in the saddle on a regular basis has brought peace to my daily life. I can't explain it but there really is no place like the back of a horse for me. I had a crazy intense encounter last week that really stressed me out but once I got to the farm and onto Cody, it melted away. The minute I am sitting in the saddle, I am home.

Relevance..

I've always had pretty odd dreams. I used to have a recurring dream when I was young, for about 10 years. There was one main one that would happen pretty much once a week, and one other one that would happen every few months. Those stopped. My dreams are usually VERY out there...things that could never transpire outside of a sci-fi film or pure imagination. I don't often dream about people I know in real life. A lot of times I'm in the dream at a birds eye view. I've had prophetic dreams a few times. The worst kind of dreams for me are dreams inside of dreams...it's the scariest feeling to wake up to (if you don't know what this is, ask me about it sometime). I've had one lucid dream and I prefer to not do that again. I try to write down every dream I remember. The more you write down your dreams, the more you remember them. True statement.

I spent about 4 or 5 years with off and on insomnia. This got me really intrigued in not only dreams, but the meaning of tiny details. When you lay awake in your bed for 5 hours each night, you think about a lot of things, but I got particularly intrigued with my dreams and their relevance and/or correlation to my awake life.

Recently I started having a lot of dreams that were more realistic and involved a lot of people I know in real life (again, this is odd for me). The themes of them have been very different them my dreams in the past. The concepts have been more tangible then usual. It's been a really bizarre feeling for me. I've been trying to assess them but often have a hard time writing down things about them in the AM even though I can replay them in my mind. It's as if there truly are no words.

Just like you can feel the seasons change, like when you wake up one morning and there's just that certain smell in the air that tells you fall has arrived, I have the same sense with my life and changes...I can feel a shift in the air. There's been a shift. It usually takes a bit of time after I sense the shift before I know the event or change...but it always intrigues me in the meantime, wondering what it is or will be. Is it something right in front of me that I'm ignoring? Is it something coming down the pipes?

To clarify the beginning portion talking about dreams, a shift in my style of dreams and themes within is usually the first sign of a greater shift or change of something in my life...my dreams have a greater relevance in life, and not what actually happens in them, but more the feeling around them. So now I am left with the anticipation of whatever this upcoming shift is...

On the road...

Once again, I was on the road for a good chunk of time returning late last night after 18 days on the road. I bounced from city to city, event to event, ending with a little vacation at my sisters place in Del Mar, CA. I got to see old friends from high school, college, old-VTers, event friends and industry friends. I made new friends and contacts. I put a lot of miles on my frequent flier card and various rental vehicles. I wore through sneakers after spending 10+ hours a day on my feet in the sun. I am many shades darker then most Vermonters will ever be. I ate some good food, some bad food. Sushi and Mexican in Cali were off the chart. I drank my fair share...that's what you do when there's an open bar or someone putting your drinks on their corporate tab.

Being on the road always changes me in some way. I learn valuable things to apply to work, I grow as an event manager, I expand my network, I remember how to be open to talking to anyone. Sometimes it's the people that cause a change in me, sometimes the event, sometimes little details.

I already miss the beach. It might be from years of growing up at the beach or near the beach, but it holds a very close place to my heart...I feel at peace when sitting watching waves crash and feeling the sand between my toes. I'm looking out my office window right now at some tall plants that are swaying in the wind in a way that reminds me of the waves of the ocean...it's making me smile.

When I express my love for California, I've often had comments back from my friends here in the Northeast that having weather that great every day makes you not appreciate it. I disagree even more now after being there for 2 weeks. I woke up everyday so excited to get outside in the sun. So excited to utilize the beautiful weather even if just to sit outside and read. People there enjoy every minute of it. My sister relishes every minute of sun and she's lived there for over 6 years. They have gray mornings and days, days that make you yearn for the sun. Again, maybe my youthful years in sunny states tie mood to sun so closely that I DO truly appreciate nice days, even if they come in sequences of 365 at a time.

I'm still figuring out exactly what I am taking from this trip...it seems there are a multitude of things that have begun churning in my mind. I definitely learned a lot, which I always do traveling solo and working hard. I've made and sealed friendships that I will have forever. I've made some headway in lingering questions. Aside from my withdrawal from the sun and sand, it was a great trip. That trip alone has created some new upcoming trips to see friends. The traveling never ends!

My new BFF

Ok...I'm going to begin this blog by saying it is about the most far-out post I have, and possibly will, post.

I was recently told about a show that aired on NBC, a show about Victoria Beckham moving to America to prepare for the Beckham's transplant to the USA. I admit, the fact this was coming from my over 30 male office mate was somewhat shocking. Not to mention his feedback being so positive! All you ever see of Posh is a very stern looking face hidden behind big shades and her skinny little self toting some hot new bag. Well, it is only fair to give someone a chance to redeem themselves beyond what you see through the paparazzi's point of view. I logged on to NBC.com and took a look for myself (they stream the whole show on the website).

Victoria Beckham is my new best friend. I love her. I'm not ashamed to say that. Although it was only a short 45 minute peek into who she really is, I love her! Here are some reasons why:

Physical:
1) she's skinny as all hell but in a good way
2) her hair...amazing
3) clothing? love it
4) cheekbones and boobs
5) she is just generally hot
(i realize i sound gay for Posh...that's ok)

Personality:
1) she's a cheeky lil Brit through and through
2) her humor is often dry but packs a punch
3) she is down to earth...hates talking about money, wants to find the perfect house b/c it is such a huge amount of money to spend (hellooo...most people who make hundreds of millions of dollars don't flinch at 10mill)
4) she uses the word "Major" in the way that southern people say "bless his/her heart"...i.e. when used in a trash talking manner, it null and voids the negative portion of your statement. For instance, she was commenting on a crazy rich old woman with too much plastic surgery and crazy hair and said "her hair is MAJOR". Love it. Adding it to my daily vocab.
5) she love love loves her kids and hubby.
6) she doesn't understand why some women in America don't wear knickers (i.e. Britany).
7) "it's great to be fabulous"
8) when she found a negative post about herself on Perez Hilton's blog, and then found out the coffee shop he works out of, she went down there to talk to him about it...and was hilarious. Hilarious for many reasons, my fave being when he offered her a cookie, after genuinely thanking him, she said "oh i can't eat that in public...i don't want people to think i actually eat...that'd ruin my image!" in a very sarcastic manner. love it.
9) she doesn't believe in the flat shoe fad...she thinks heels are the only kind of shoe to wear
10) when pulled over by the police she said "i didn't know whether to pose or get arrested!"

Other:
1) She is married to David Beckham. Enough said.

I mean, seriously...she's awesome. Watch her and become a convert like me - Thursday 7/19 at 9pm on NBC.

Summer travel

My job requires a lot of travel, predominantly in the summer. It really is a bittersweet perk. Traveling for work is what keeps me interested and inspired. At the same time, Burlington summers are pretty much the best. Last summer I was gone for basically the entire month of August, only popping back into Vermont for Emi and Kevin's wedding. This summer I have bopped around a bit for various events but the thick of it is yet to come.

I realized that I have the next 2 weeks and weekends in Vermont and am so excited! That is one great thing about being gone so much is I appreciate my time here that much more. I do, however, wish I had more travel during the bitter cold winter months.

I will be shipping out on July 26th for approximately 2 and 1/2 weeks. I go to Atlanta to throw a party for Harley-Davidson and squeeze in some catch-up time with old high school friends. From Atlanta I head directly to California. Luckily I have a day or two of down time so will be staying with some friends in Carlsbad who recently got married. Then straight from there to Carson, CA (aka south LA) for X Games...basically a week of event madness. Apres X Games I'll be scooting down to Del Mar to take a few days off and stay with my sister...a little R&R, beach time, good dinners, cooking w/my bestie aka sis, and recharge the batteries. Back to Burlington for 2 weeks and then to Rochester for a long weekend for the Major League Lacrosse Championship Weekend. Phew.

It can be pretty intense, suitcase living, but it has become second nature to me. One of the greatest things about my work travel is that events like X Games are a family...it's the same people every year and we all look forward to being reunited for a fun week. The friends I'm staying with in Carlsbad I actually met through events...he is the team manager for Spy Optics moto and bmx teams and we have been going to the same events for 3 years now. So between seeing old event friends and getting to visit high school friends and my sister, all coincidentally without having to pay for flights, it's a pretty sweet deal.

This kind of travel is so different, yet similar, to my pleasure travels. There is still the slight bit of anxiety before shipping off for multiple events, knowing clients will be there judging and watching. There are still many hours spent in airports and hotels and cabs and car rental counters. There is still the task of packing effectively for multiple types of outings, dinners, crowds, events, temperatures. There is still the reminder that I have to open up and meet people and create a bond quickly. It is invigorating and gives me a similar rush to my other travels.

International Rendezvous

One of my favorite aspects of traveling solo is it affords you the opportunity to make new friends. Not that traveling with people eliminates that possibility, but solo travel almost forces you to do so. You are out of your comfort zone of safe places with safe faces, and being alone is magnified when in a foreign country.

Upon my somewhat recent travels to Brasil, I spent a week in Barra da Lagoa on the island of Florianopolis. It was here that I forged some great friendships. I am one of those people who is really good about maintaining contact with friends made on the road...I collect and exchange emails and follow up every few weeks to see how these new friends are doing. It is not only a great way to live vicariously through others travels, but great to keep in touch with people you often share a lot with in short periods of time. Not to mention having a couch to crash on in many countries around the world. In Lagoa I made friends with an Australian lawyer named Steve. He stopped practicing law after about a year at the Supreme Court after earning his J.D. He decided to take some time to travel the world on a year, round-the-world ticket. This past weekend he landed for the New York City portion of his trip. Having known about this for some time combined with the manageable 5.5 hour drive, I made plans to meet him in the city.

It was great to actually reconnect with an international friend on somewhat home-turf. Steve had been traveling in mostly 3rd world countries for the past 6 months so was intoxicated by the Big Apple. We ventured the streets, laid out in Central Park as he strummed away on his guitar, viewed NYC at night from the Empire State Building, showed him some nightlife and caught up on life. It was extremely interesting hearing his point of view on the world after spending so much time amidst poverty and now comparing it to the excessive lifestyle of New York. Even from when I first met him a few months ago, there has been a shift...something I could tell was gained from time on the road solo, bouncing from hostel to hostel, bartering his way through visa offices, hopping on rickety buses and avoiding incidents on the streets, surviving bad illnesses and loss of bags, money and pride.

I have to say that being in the Big Apple with someone who was appreciating every minute detail of it was something that gave me a different appreciation for it. I found myself noticing all the various street artists and colors of shirts in a window, children playing music in a park, groups of people taking excessive amounts of photos, seemingly oblivious to the other hundreds of people laying nearby, children in their "I Love NY" tshirts. In a way, it was like going to Disneyworld with a young child...it is like truly seeing it for the first time. As we grow up, it seems our ability to pick up on the most beautiful, perfect nuances of something is diminished...until you see it through the eyes of a child or first-timer.

Life in the Fast Lane?

This past weekend I ventured to New York City to rendezvous with some friends. Christina and I packed up my car on Friday afternoon and made the 5.5 hour drive into the Big Apple to begin an adventurous 3.5 days of laying out in Central Park, walking the city, shopping, dining, partying and people watching.



Life in the Fast Lane.

New York City is an intense place. Maybe intense isn't the right word. It is almost an over stimulation of the senses. You have anything you could possibly dream of at your disposal. Have a busy day and get home late, shower quickly and go out for dinner only to realize it's 1am? No worries, they still serve dinner at most restaurants...often until 4am! Not to mention that on a weekend night, at midnight, you might have to even WAIT 40 minutes for a table for dinner. Want to go out for drinks but not walk more then 2 blocks? No problem! Want some chinese food, bagels, groceries, flowers, whatever delivered at any time of the day? Sure thing!

It is easy to see how people get sucked far into debt and gluttony while living in the city. If you aren't part of the swiftly moving river of trends and partying and dining and strolling the city, you are quickly pulled in the undertow. Upon entering the current "it" club of NYC and being ushered to the VIP table complete with bottle service and models, I quickly realized how seductive that kind of life can be. Being a woman in the city is not a bad thing either. While waiting a few minutes for even the smaller, less "it", more divey local bars I was pondering whether there'd actually be any males in the bar considering that the doormen seemed to only be letting girls in. Apparently guy get in either through a back door as VIP or with massive swarms of good looking woman. They WERE inside the bars, but I'm not sure how they got there.

One thing I noticed about the city that I really liked, aside from the cute little corner cafes with amazing coffee and paninis, was that, for the most part, people take pride in themselves. Granted, I live in a city where a hoodie and tshirt is not only acceptable at bars and restaurants but also pretty much standard. It was nice to see women in fun outfits, great hats or scarves or accessories, nice shoes even while hiking through the subway. Even better was the men. Nice jeans, button up shirts or at least very nice, fitted, clean non-button up shirts, nice shoes, and so on. It reminded me of Paris where people walk out of their house representing themselves, marketing themselves, taking pride in themselves and leaving the loungewear and hoodies for, well, lounging!

I am not sure if I could endure the city on a permanent living basis, but it could be fun to have a residence there as a second home. Granted, being in the upper echelon of earning would make it even better but we seemed to do pretty well with the right connections. It was an exhausting weekend but refreshing in the sense that there is an unmistakable energy in that city that invigorates and intoxicates. The view at night from the Empire State Building wasn't bad either.

5 benefits of jail

A very interesting thing was presented to me tonight...the idea that being put in prison could actually be a good thing. This got me thinking...what benefits could I gain from being in prison for a year?
1) Reading...I would read as many books as they'd be willing to give me
2) Working out...I'd be in the best shape of my life
3) Meditation...I've always been fascinated by the ability to sit and literally not think...it is something that seems pretty much impossible to me but I'd much like to try
4) (i'm stealing this idea from Isaac, the creator of this topic...) Language...being placed in a room w/a foreigner and therefore learning another language
5) The opposite of being alone...I'm not only good at being alone, but also enjoy nights and/or days by myself, which are clearly NOT an option in prison unless you get put in solitary confinement (perhaps a reward to myself versus a punishment to others?)

I suppose that is a veritable "silver lining" train of thought to the idea of jail.

Oh, and if there was TV and DVD available, I'd watch all the classic movies I've never seen...my list is quite extensive.

Judging, watching.

I landed at Speeder and Earl's at approximately 6:05 today and the next thing I knew it, it was 9:45 and I was on a bench across from Speeders...a good 2 hours into people watching. We somehow were bouncing between stories, anecdotes, random topics and confessions to pointing out a particular character, child or dog and analyzing their movement, companions, clothes, mannerisms. Sometimes not necessarily the nicest comments, others quite comical (one little toddler girl appeared to be drunk). It made me think about people like Ghandi and Mother Theresa...how, or did they truly, never judge people? Now, it is rare for me to think very malicious or horrible things about people, but I do internally (or in this case externally) comment on things such as the combination of a man with long, girl like hair, a belly shirt and mis-matched companion or the crazy man's ever shifting eye patch. Do these count against karma? Am I gradually causing myself one of those days where "nothing goes right" or is it one of those things that is truly natural and not included in your daily "star earning" score?

During these few hours of observation, a confession was made to me about an observation made about me which was not necessarily positive, but after hearing it, didn't seem so bad. But then again, I felt bad that it had caused a lack of communication and interest between two people that clearly get along well. So with that in mind, and amid the people watching that was going on, I have to remind myself that although it may be easy to judge someone as they stroll by, but to be sure that, if a one-on-one circumstance arises with that same person, to give them a fair chance. Apparently upon being given a chance at "redemption", I passed the test, so I suppose it can be true of others. Granted, I try to avoid shifting an eye patch and/or cross dressing without assuming some stereotypes will be given to me.

To judge and be judged...I suppose it goes on daily and will continue to go on forever. Is the answer to it really to just find a place where you truly don't care what others think, or is that, in reality, an unattainable goal? Do we ever really not care what at least one other person thinks?

Distractions

When I started this blog and was talking to Penelope about it, and my desire to keep it travel oriented, she warned me that it would be hard to focus on one specific topic. I was in denial. The more I write on here, the more I want to write and about various and random things. Part of it is because travel holds such an intimate place in my heart, it is hard for me to verbalize a lot of my thoughts. The other part is that it is just inspiring to write! So, in this sense, I am distracted by the plethora of other experiences, sights, sounds, smells I come across daily and therefore feel the need to expand my blogging horizons.

If I were a blood hound, or hunting beagle, I would be put out to pasture. I cannot stay on one scent for very long and find myself constantly wandering off the path, following some rustling bushes, auditory glimpses of a brook or stream, rays of sunlight through the trees, a scampering bunny. Mind you, that is metaphorical for things such as walking up Church St. to pick up a book and finding myself in the camera shop buying film and paper, or the home goods store looking at various kitchen accoutrement. I am the same way at work, yet somehow have never missed a deadline. I bounce from budgets and emails to google and ebay and travel websites.

Sometimes I am distracted by what I picture as a future life (not as in reincarnation, but in the sense of down the road a few months or years). The other day I was on Gumtree (link on the right of my blog), looking through apartment sublets available, choosing which one I liked best. Then I started looking through bar and restaurant jobs and which would fit best. I toyed with the Au Pair idea as well amidst my "job search". Next was the Rideshare link and planning a weekend away to visit friends in Perth or Brisbane. The cars-for-sale link beckoned me for a bit...would I want my own car or depend on public transport and enjoy the unfamiliarity of the coastal bus and/or rideshares for weekend trips? I think I will go without a car for only the 2nd time in my life (the first was my summer in London). I do love to live away from my life, at least mentally, for a few minutes, hours every few days or weeks.

J.R.R. Tolken wrote one of my favorite sayings - "All who wander are not lost." I suppose this can be true of mental wanderings as well.

Random Musing - Summer is in Swing

Farmers Market. A myriad of colors and smells, textures and shapes, edible and art. The Farmers Market is one of my favorite parts about summer. Sometimes I leave it with a single cucumber but it is so much more for me then just a place to pick up fresh veggies, fruit and more. Somehow it always seems to be sunny on Saturday mornings (knock on wood), birds are chirping, dogs are everywhere, the smells of the samosas and hibiscus tea fill the air. It's hard not to enjoy every second of the Farmers Market. Without fail, I always pick up my greens for the week - spinach and baby lettuce. I love it when a beautiful swirled orange and green heirloom tomato is staring at me, daring me to buy it and finally use that recipe I have been lusting over. Often times Becky and I will meet up and enjoy the Market together. We end it with Becky and her Tamale and me with a samosa or eggroll. It's the perfect way to start the weekend. It makes me think that I'm in Europe, strolling with the locals, enjoying the day.

BBQ-ing. There are two things that a BBQ reminds me of most - my dad's amazing charcoal grill and many Florida nights tending to various yummy treats on it, and Emma and Kevin's perfect flatbread sized round grill and flatbread nights. This, like the Farmers Market, has become synonymous with Burlington summers. Christina is great on the grill...always removing the items when they are done to perfection, still juicy and moist but with the perfect amount of external BBQ crispness. I have yet to test my skills on the grill.

Flowers. It is an absolute necessity for me to have at least one vase of fresh flowers in my house at all times, especially during the summer. Lately I have been noticing beautiful, random flowers popping up amongst the weeds in the empty lot beside my house. I am not sure who owns that little piece of land, but that doesn't stop me from sneaking into the weeds and snipping some lovely iris', lilies and various unknown other flowers. I enjoy knowing that these flowers don't grow and bloom and die amongst the weeds, hidden from public view by the bushes. They are loved and enjoyed by me, even if just through my window while their friends hang out in my living room. I recently planted some wildflowers in front of my house and eagerly await their arrival. They too will be fully enjoyed in various arrangements in my house.

Dirty Dancing

Although I have lived in New England for over 2 years, I have not done much traveling within and explored much more then my somewhat close surroundings. I have driven through many of the nearby states, but very rarely actually stopped and explored.

This past weekend I ventured 1.5 hours away to New London, NH and Little Lake Sunapee where a friend has a lake house. The drive there was amazing...through the mountains and lush green acres of Vermont and New Hampshire, past little cottages with rusty tractors and stray cats, brooks and streams, locals walking their dog and waving to all passersby, little stores and delis.

We rolled up to the house in the early afternoon. Now, I have to quickly back-up to about .5 miles before the house...this is where "Dirty Dancing" comes in. My friend's house is within a place called "Twin Lake Village" and as you turn in, you pass the golf course, the main hall, tennis courts, shuffle board, little golf shop and other cabins. TLV officially opens in 2 weeks and when it does, it is full-on Dirty Dancing. Families have essentially time-shares at the cabins and come the same week every summer. My friends family has owned their house for 2 generations and are just at the edge of the village so can come any time they want. TLV vacationers enjoy the variety of outdoor activities including lawn games, shuffleboard and tennis, golf, nature walks, the dock and all the lake has to offer as well as visiting with their neighbors. Every evening a different cabin hosts cocktail hour prior to the dining hall ringing the dinner bell. Dinner includes mandatory dress-up and arriving on-time. There are themed parties and dances all summer long. Loves are formed, memories made, generation after generation summer there. The history behind it is not only adorable, but steeped in tradition. My friend's parents actually met there while working there one summer. We flipped through photo books at her house and laughed over photos of her parents and grandparents at various theme parties, dances, and sunny afternoons at TLV. There was something magical about that place.

It is no wonder why so many people have summer homes in New England. It really is "gods country".

Slacking and reorganizing

I recently realized that I have not posted on here in quite some time, and I'm still new at it! I don't want the honeymoon phase to dwindle, so as with everything, I must remind myself and continue to work at it. The funny thing is, I have so many thoughts every day and a good 50% of them are related to travel, so why am I not blogging more! Perhaps it is that I have stopped bringing my laptop home weeknights to avoid staying locked on my keyboard, searching pointless things, looking at random articles. I have replaced nighttime computer use with reading and cooking and laundry and relaxing. I need to either set aside 10 minutes at the end of each or every other work day and do a little blogging, or jot down notes each day and enter blogs at the end of the week.

With that in mind, I have been reorganizing my thoughts and way about each day. I am seeking a more peaceful unified existence. I have picked up my old books on Buddhism again, have been enjoying tea and reading at night, cooking and relaxing, and spending at least part of the weekends retreating to the country and avoiding the hustle and bustle of the "big city" and the bar scene.

It seems that at some point every year I hit a sort of plateau and get a bit listless, a bit lonely, a bit melancholy. I truly enjoy my single life and the freedom it affords me although it can be rough when may close friends are in serious relationships and do a lot of "couple" activities with other coupled friends. I try to not let this deter me from venturing out there or tagging along. I have hit that place recently and find myself doing a lot of soul searching, hence my quest for a more peaceful unified way of being.

How does all this relate to travel though? Although I find myself in a similar place at some point each year, the place I'm at now is familiar in a different way. It is the way I have felt before taking a new leap. I felt this before moving to London. I felt this when I was seriously considering my first, then second, move to Vermont. It is a shirt in my psyche...a quest for answers that cannot be provided by my current surroundings but by some new, untouched territory.

I have been mentally planning a big change, and this feeling of late is telling me that I am finally in the right place and time to do this, after a few years of consideration. The mental plans are often the hardest as you have to physically begin to remove yourself and prepare yourself for change. This big change will involve packing my things, storing them either at my parents or a storage place, either selling my car or taking it to Florida, and moving to a new land for a few months, then reassessing my situation and either coming back to the states, or continuing my journey to another new land where an opportunity already awaits. I have made a mental timeline that ranges from 5 months to one year. I am hesitant to divulge the intricacies as I like to have some solid, in hands proof before sharing it to the world...it's like suspecting you will get a promotion but not sharing it with your friends until you are positive...you don't want disappointment if something goes wrong.

I do truly feel that, although I had considered this same change 2 times in the past year, I feel the timing is finally right. 2008 is looking to begin with new scenery.

Lonely Planet - Travel Writing

The latest edition to the stack of books I'm currently reading....

Inspiration

Inspiration comes in many forms and is often more readily available then we realize. Sometimes it's as simple as looking at some everyday object in a different light, or different time of day or through someone else's eyes.

My mum and I have spent a lot of time in the past few months discussing my love for travel and my desire to find a way to get paid for it, or at least to have my expenses covered. She recently bought me a book by Lonely Planet called "Travel Writing". My mum is one of my main sources of inspiration, and by her getting me this book, has provided me yet another bit of inspiration. My good friend Penelope has also been an inspiration for this blog I have started. I first did not quite get the whole "blogging" idea but upon random readings on her blog I became inspired and intrigued. It was the combination of my mum, the book and discussions, and Penelope's blogging expertise that I decided to put this blog together and test out my skills as a writer.

I am attempting to keep this blog travel-focused since, as I stated above, it is an effort to practice and progress as a possible future travel writer. Penelope and I were talking about this at a cook-off party Saturday evening and how hard it is to keep a blog focused on one particular topic. I am already finding this to be true, as you quickly realize how much there is to write about and think about on a daily basis. I do truly want to keep this focused on travel but I may also create a section for "random musings". In the very least, I may incorporate more day-to-day thoughts into my general postings by relating them to travel and how different areas of my life can relate to my love of travel.

Blogging is my new black.

Complacency v.s. Fear

Complacency: n. A feeling of contentment or self-satisfaction, especially when coupled with an unawareness of danger, trouble, or controversy.

Fear: n. a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.

Although self-satisfaction is something we often strive for, it can also become a crutch especially when matched up against fear. People are often more apt to choose complacency over confrontation of fear, because the outcome can never be negative. However, the outcome isn't negative because you are already living it, the answers already exist. With fear, the end is unknown, the path is usually unknown as well. Things could end badly. On the contrary, sometimes the most frightening things have the greatest rewards. You have to risk big to gain big.

I make this comparison because I think it can so easily be related to travel. It is easier to not travel then travel alone and chance being mugged, lost in a foreign country, not meeting anyone, being lonely, winding up in a dodgey part of town where you don't speak the language. On the other hand, facing that fear and getting on the road solo can lead to stumbling upon amazing sights and adventures, meeting new best friends and making lifelong connections, experiencing feelings you never have, feeling personal excitement and satisfaction that is only achieved by conquering fear.

I have traveled solo on multiple occasions, in the US and abroad. There isn't a single solo trip I go on that I don't feel fear and anxiety for at least a few minutes upon departure or arrival in a new city. But it's that fear that drives me! It's like that old show, Gladiators. People would run at doors knowing that it was possible that a Gladiator would be on the other side, but running through that door was the only way to win in the end. If you can stare in the face of fear and laugh, then right behind it is a rainbow and pot of gold.

Generalizations are not usually my favorite, but I'm going to go ahead and make one. It seems that, as a culture, Americans are not promoted to travel like residents of other countries. Along the way, I have met very few Americans on the road, taking a gap year or just traveling. There are the "post college backpack across Europe" group, but I mean really travel...round the world, south america, south east asia, africa, europe, the whole shebang. We are promoted to go to college, get a good internship, get right into the working world and begin working 70 hour weeks to make our millions. Even in the way we dine, it's a "wham bam thank you ma'am" kind of culture...we are trained to seek instant gratification. You can almost see the disappointment or shock on people's face when you say, "i think i'm going to take a year off to travel." It's like you have officially been labeled "slacker vagabond" by saying that. Traveling should be a requirement...it truly makes you learn not only about yourself but more about your culture, where you came from, where you are going.

Back to the complacency topic - the thought of throwing in the towel and taking off on an adventure is probably one of the most frightening things we can experience. Whether it's taking a new job, moving to a foreign country or quitting your job to take time off and travel. What is it that finally allows people to take that leap, that big step? What is the "tipping point" to finally packing your stuff up, putting it in storage, packing a bag, buying a ticket and taking off...knowing when you return you are jobless and homeless? The mental battle that occurs knows that, as mentioned above, getting past the fear will reap the greatest rewards, but how do you quiet the "responsible" side of your mind? Do you just have to purchase the ticket one day and there you have it?

Notes from the road - a compilation

Throughout my travels, I have been blessed with meeting some amazing people. People from all over the world, from all walks of life, with all different stories to tell. Lawyers, doctors, students, freeloaders, surfers, artists, architects, computer techs, entrepreneurs, you name it. Some people are traveling for a month, some for a year. Some are finding themselves, others losing themselves. I have found inspiration and motivation from so many of these people and after each of my trips, as I return to the 9-5 computer screen desk life, I revel in the fact that I can continue to dream and travel vicariously through these new friends.

During my most recent trip to Brasil, the vast majority of people I met were continuing to travel for as little as 3 months and as long as a year. Upon my return, I made a point of continuing communication with these new friends in an effort to not only maintain and grow these new bonds, but also to hear of their continuing adventures. Here are some excerpts from emails of these various new friends and their continued wanderings.

"Nick and I had a rad time...everything was crazy. bolivia was soooo cheap
and good times. yes we did meet up with the aussie boys. killed it in la
paz. such a good time to see them again. we also met up with a crew we have
been with since buenos aires. did a jungle tour and biked the worlds most
dangerous road. I continued north of lima (peru) and did
some surfing there....yes i have extended my travels. I am in NZ right now
on the north island. it is amazing here but $$$$$$. we were going to go
skydiving today, but too windy so hopefully in the next town. also looking
forward to some surf here. I am travelling with two of the crew from buenos
aires and la paz...we are here for about another ten days then we are going
up to fiji!!!" - Colin from Vancouver

"i am still in holland since a month. Almost leaving again. Bought a car, A peugeot 206, dont know if you drive those cars overthere but this baby is gonna take me to southern europe. Monday i am driving my way down. Takes about 4 hours to reach France. After crossing holland, belgium and luxembourg, yes its a very handy small continent. Than it will take me 7 more hours to go to the south west of france where i am gonna pitch my tent and surf for 2 weeks before ill head to spain." Casper from Holland

"I´m in Columbia at the moment, soaking up the sunshine and the Carribean lifestyle. Things could be a lot worse." - Steve from Sydney

"Im staying here in Floripa now. I work here in a surfboard factory.
I have a little place on the beach. Surfing every day. Life is good." - Roy from Australia

"In early April we decided we needed to get out of La Paz! off to the jungle we went for an excursion of crocs, paranhas, and anacondas (though we didn't find any...after three hours in of hiking through a swamp in 40 degree weather, covered in mosquitos)." - Colin from Vancouver

I read these notes and stories and find my mind trailing off into visions of massive mountains and sandy beaches, thatched huts and muddy roads, rickety buses and cheap beer. They bring me back to memories of stories from my trips...the memories make me smile.

Traveling solo is what has afforded me the opportunity to receive these tales from the road...it forced me out of my comfort zone and into a place where I had the choice of making friends or being alone for the next week, two weeks, month. Sitting in the lobby or dining hall of a hostel is like sitting amongst old friends...you already have 10 things in common with everyone there. Conversations come easy, and lifelong friendships form quickly.

I open my email each day with the silent anticipation of another email detailing my international friends' "notes from the road". It keeps each day from seeming like just another Tuesday.