Ownership

So often I find that people, myself included, aren't willing to take ownership of things. It can be as simple as ownership of a mistake, or as big as ownership of their own feelings and in turn, their destiny. I have had people be surprised when I mention "flaws" about myself, or things I'm not good at..."I'm a control freak". "You don't want me on your softball team, I have horrible hand/eye coordination". "I trip and fall a lot". I am not afraid of things that are a core part of me. Or things I'm not good at. I own up to that, with pride I might add. I think that being able to say what you are bad at, or ill equipped to do, is just as important as saying and knowing what you ARE good at and can do well.

Emotions can be more tough. Taking ownership over things you feel, things you need, things you desire...that can be a little more tricky. It puts us on the line, it puts our ego out there for a possible bruising, it puts our pride in the spotlight. But have you ever just said, "F-it" and said or done something, regardless of the implications, just because it needed to be done or said? Because you needed to take ownership of it, you needed to be honest with yourself about it? It's amazing...freeing, invigorating, enlivening. Sometimes shedding the tin-man persona can be the best thing ever.

Time she flies

Oy...sometimes I think about much I'm slacking on blogging and then I get overwhelmed with how much I have not reported on so can't even mentally grasp trying to fill in the gaps. So, I have decided when a substantial amount of time has passed, I need to just skip to the present tense, start from today. If I have a rainy/snowy Saturday, I can fill in some blanks. I really want to post about Thailand, but I feel especially stressed over that topic because I want to do it right, not skimp, not forget important details, spend time writing properly and conveying the tone and feelings I had. So, Thailand posts will happen at some point...perhaps when I'm feeling a little bit of SADs (season affective disorder) and need to relive my vacation.

Today is December 11th, 2008. It's almost halfway through December...seriously, how is that possible? I swear that it was just yesterday I was snowshoeing with some friends and yummy hot chocolate. Just yesterday that I was in Istanbul. Just yesterday that I was living on the road working with SoBe. How does time fly so? There is snow on the ground...not much, but it's there. Definitely miniscule compared to last year at this time. I have been attending holiday parties like they are designer sample sales. Last night was Soe's annual Holiday Craft and Cookie Exchange...I love it. Everyone brings 2 dozen cookies and you leave with 2 dozen cookies. Not to mention the various holiday crafts...I made a pomander ball (my favorite) AND the special craft this year of Peace Cranes...I also love. They are so beautiful, so elegant, so representative. We drank mulled cider, listened to Christmas music and caught up with some amazing ladies. Tomorrow night is Becky and Ewen's annual holiday party which i'm also super excited for. Many delicious finger foods and some delectable cocktail that Becky whips up. It guarantees to be an evening of amazing food, great company and conversation, and a pleasant little buzz.

I have vowed a few things for this winter. 1) Snowboard more than last year. I went 3 times last year. Pathetic. Although at the time, my reason was good, it was a compromise. 2) Less complaining about the cold. I chose to stay here this winter, I know what it's like, deal with it. 3) More house gatherings. I live in an amazing apartment and even though it's small, it's homey and a great place to gather with friends and beat the cold, versus trekking downtown to be ultimately disappointed in the bar scene. 4) Get back on my gym plan...I have a half marathon and Olympic distance triathlon on the summer 2009 calendar so I need to get my butt in primo shape before the warm weather hits. Once its' warm out, it'll be peddle to the metal...feet to pavement, wheels to pavement, body to lake. 5) Not compromise. I compromised myself a little last winter and this year I will not. Last winter taught me a lot about myself, and I refuse to let anything get in the way of me being me. 6) Be the best maid of honor ever...did I mention that Becky asked me to be her Maid of Honor?!?!?! I have to say, it's one of the most amazing honors to be given...I am taking my role seriously and giving her the best engagement and all things leading up to, and at, the wedding.

Happy Snow!

Gentle Giant

Without wasting too much time on the internet on this trip, I have to jump around things that have gone on so far. The most current and fresh is my day with the elephants. We were picked up early this morning for a beautiful drive out into this lush tropical valley to meet our elephant. My elephant was Boon Pak, the only male, tusks and all, and my partner was his trainer Kaw. We had read that at this place we went, you literally become the trainer for the day and "own" the elephant but I'm not sure we realized that it really meant that we would be immediately put in that position. It was amazing. We learned about care for the elephant, feeding, health and then commands and mounting. One of the elephants had a bit of a fit which was incredible to see...ears flared, loud quintessential elephant sound. It was a bit intimidating at first, seeing her do this but then we realized she just wanted her baby to come back to her. I must admit, I was really glad to have Boon Pak at that moment. He was so gentle, docile, sweet.

After some basic ground training, it was time to mount. There are a few ways to get on the elephant and I opted for up the front of their head. After placing my hands on Boon Pak's head and saying a command, he raised his trunk to make a step, I placed my foot on and it and he raised his trunk up so I could climb up onto his neck and spin around. I spent a large part of the rest of the day perched high up on his neck, wandering through the valley, crossing streams and swimming at a waterfall with Boon Pak...literally. We got to this gorgeous waterfall and walked the elephants into one of the lower pools and down he went...submerging himself with me still on top. Needless to say, I got a bath of my own. They served us an incredible lunch on the rocks, the remainder of which we got to feed our elephants. Talk about sustainable eating...even the tablecloth was a snack for them (banana leaves)!! We rode them for a while back to camp, learned some new riding techniques, waded through a river and had to say our goodbye's 6 hours later. Boon Pak was amazing, so was Kaw. The feeling of sitting on top of such a huge animal and letting it guide you over tiny trails high up on mountains, down muddy paths with a sheer drop beside you, through rushing rivers...it was incredible. They told us at the beginning how surefoot elephants are and now I see why. Every step they take, they are sure of before taking it. I was sad to leave Boon Pak...we had bonded. Such an incredible experience, so much more impactful then if we had gone and sat on a chair on their back and then watched them do tricks. It truly was something that will stick with me.

So many other amazing details of the day which I am leaving out, but I will save some for in person story telling. All in all, my love of and resport for elephants is enormous now.

Photos to come.

Cabin Fever

I think it's perfect that the inside of an airplane is called the Cabin. It allows me to not have to come up with a new word to describe what I felt after 30+ hours of travel from Burlington to Thailand. My first flight, 3 or so hours from VT to Detroit was great. A 5 hour layover in Detroit, not bad. Then the 12+ hour flight to Tokyo being on a plane where I was not only one of the VERY few non-asians but also taller by many inches. The best part of that flight was that one option for breakfast was fried rice with teriyaki chicken...and the majority of the people around me chose that over the omelette. At this point I was doing ok with the flights. Had some wine, took an ambien, made some notes on what we wanted to check out in Thailand. Then a few hours in the Tokyo airport. I figured there would be some good shopping at least, since Tokyo is such a consumer driven city but alas, nothing exciting minus the cool modern, underlit chairs. The Japanese has a strange lack of body-space concept. I was lounging on one of these cool low couch type things, reading and then suddenly felt my space totally invaded. I look up and sure enough 3 people had decided there was plenty of space to join up. So much for giving my legs room to stretch. Back on another flight...6+ hours from Tokyo to Bangkok with a man behind me that constantly bumped and pushed and kneed the back of my chair. It was at this point that Cabin Fever sunk in. I thought I was going to go mad...another minute in an airplane, I almost lost it. I literally almost stood up and scolded the man behind me but realized after hearing him talk in an excessively loud voice to the flight attendant that it would do no good. Patience. Counting backwards from 10. Going to my happy place. It is the only time I've ever felt suffocated in a plane...and it was bad. Then the procession to the forever long immigration line in the swelteringly hot terminal. I couldn't wait to walk into our fancy Bangkok hotel, hug my sister, take a shower and pass out. 

Day 1 in Thailand has begun! We are about to take the SkyTrain down to the river, catch boats up along the river and check out some of the amazing Wat's and other beautiful, historic, tourist spots. Not to mention seeking out our first bit of Thai food. I am looking forward to totally over-eating Thai food while here. Mmmmmm. 

One night in Bangkok....

Elephantidae

As my below post states, I am soon to leave for an almost 2 week vacation in Thailand. My sister and I have been researching a bunch of different sights to see, activities, etc. and one of our high priority activities just got confirmed. A day with elephants!!!! And no, not some tourist crap of riding on a chair on their back for an hour w/a guide on their neck. Nope. We're going to learn how to bathe them and then ride them bare back ourselves!!! We found a great Elephant Conservatory that works for the good of elephants and saving ones from horrible situations of torture and mistreatment. They teach you about their health and diet, lifestyles, approaching and handling and then riding and bathing. It's going to be amazing. I cannot WAIT. I have a feeling that I'm going to become very attached to my elephant in the span of a day. I love giant creatures, riding them, interacting with them. I rode horses for 10 years and there's something about knowing you are putting yourself in the "hands" of an animal that could trample or kick or turn on you in seconds...something so powerful about creating a connection with such a powerful being. Elephants are so majestic to me...so humble. I think this will be one of the highlights of the trip. 

BTV to BKK

In less than 2 weeks (8 days to be exact) I will be heading to the BTV airport with a final destination of the BKK airport...also known as Bangkok, Thailand! I am peeing my pants in excitement. It's really coming. I'm really going. It has felt like a hellacious circus road trip trying to nail things down, get the plane ticket finalized, dates, and so on. My oldest sister Alli and I are going together so whereas I'm used to traveling solo and being on no one's schedule but my own, we were coordinating two schedules and two sets of ideas. But after many stressful nights and many Skype conversations, it is locked in and hotels are being confirmed. 

I have traveled extensively and it's the same feeling everytime I travel. I am excited yet I know I won't truly feel it until I land. Until I get the first whiff of the local air, the first sound of local traffic, the first taste of local food. Then it hits me. It comes on like a tidal wave. I feel excited and scared at the same time. Overwhelmed and at peace. I love it. I love the rush. Although I will have a travel partner therefore taking some of the nerves out of things, it still packs that punch. Not to mention she may not arrive until the evening after I get there. Travel makes me feel alive. It is a place in my life that I feel inspired and full and glowing. I can't explain it. 

Just knowing that in a week or so I will be stepping onto the first of 4 planes, I can barely believe it. I will fly from Burlington to Detroit, 4 hours in Detroit, then Detroit to Tokyo-Narita for a 3 hour layover and then Tokyo to Bangkok. I arrive in Bangkok at 12:30am on Thursday morning (after leaving at 6am Tuesday morning). We'll spend Thursday and Friday there and are taking a late flight Friday night up to Chiang Mai in the north. We'll spend 4 days there with potentially 1.5 of them spent trekking through the jungle on elephants. Then we'll fly from Chiang Mai down to the

 southern beaches, most likely to Ko Phi Phi, an island off of the western side (near Phuket and Krabi). We'll hopefully be staying in a beachfront bungalow and taking boat trips to other islands, getting Thai massages, lazying in hammocks, snorkeling and diving and just enjoying the gorgeous scenery. I've pulled some images from online and it makes me melt. 

I can't wait to be there. 

Reunion

This past weekend I was at yet another wedding, the last for this year. It was the wedding of a good college friend of mine, Mike Davis. He got married to a lovely lady, Kathleen Trupiano, whom I only met for the first time this weekend. It was a fun weekend and an unofficial reunion of my college friends...the people I met my freshmen year and became a family with over 4 years. It was cool to see everyone...the first time in 3 years since I picked up and moved away after graduation. It's crazy that I haven't been back since...well minus seeing my parents over holidays. I literally just packed up and walked out of the door of their lives, our big family life, one day. It was sad in that sense, sad that I had abandoned them. I got a lot of the same question..."where the heck have you been the past 3 years?!?!" It made me realize that I really did just abandon them all. I was a big part of that group, not just an outlier so it meant something. But now we're back, reunited, caught up. Everyone is pretty much the same, only a more grown-up version. There is still an energy between all of us, a cohesiveness. These people will always be part of my family.

So, something that was really cool was a reminder of the fact that Gators are a special thing in and of itself...being a Gator is a special thing. Both the bride and groom are Gator grads and therefore the majority of the wedding attendees were Gators. So, there was a Gator ice sculpture at the raw bar and we did the Gator chomp during the reception...it was pretty amazing, something I had forgotten about, but remembered how amazing being a part of that is. I will be forever a Gator.

Put your hands up and shout!

This past weekend was Mindy and Bobby's wedding in Buffalo, NY. To set the tone...I typically refuse to dance to songs like "YMCA" and "Shout" at weddings...but this wedding, I was rocking out when "Shout" came on. It was a good time and inspired participation in these sort of "traditional" wedding ballads.

Becky and I headed to Buffalo Friday morning and had a really fun road trip there. The 8 hour drive didn't seem bad at all. Perhaps it's because we always have great conversations or because we were catching up after not having seen each other in a while or what, but it was fun. We got in to our hotel and met up with Penelope, Colin, Elisa, Brett and Zoe and all went for a nice dinner in a cute neighborhood. P, Col, Becky and I then went to the Chocolate Bar/Martini Bar at our hotel for some fancy pants drinks...although P almost got sick after drinking her spiked Coke Float. Saw a crazy trashy girl talking smack to another girl...very Jerry Springer-esque. K Dogg (as his new shoes say) joined us for a beer then we all turned in.


Saturday we took a trip up to Niagara Falls on the Canadian Side. It was pretty impressive...the massive spray of mist coming from the bottom was one of the most impressive parts about it. We took a trip into the VERY touristy area right by the falls for a some trashy food (candy store, dairy queen soft serve and hot dogs) and did a Ripley's Motion Movie...it was lame. We almost got in trouble crossing back into the US...apparently even though the Canadian border patrol doesn't even ask for any form of ID, the US side is requiring Passports...Becky and I only had ID's...alas. They let us through...we must have looked normal.



The the wedding. Mindy and Bobby looked great. The ceremony was short and sweet, a nice cocktail hour w/some yummy hors d'oeuvres then to our awesome table...just the 8 of us, it was perfect. Good food and conversation, many laughs, definitely the cool table :-). Then the reception. The band was AMAZING. Total Zoot Suit type band in full on Zoot Suits and everything. They rocked it and we danced along the whole time. Tons of fun. Lots of cool people at the wedding (no surprise since Mindy and Bobby are the coolest!). Becky and I stayed past the reception and went to check out downtown Buffalo "nightlife" with some other Burlington people (the rest of our crew retired early) and some of the grooms party. Pretty interesting "scene".

Another 8 hour drive back on Sunday. Again, we were both surprised by the fact it wasn't too bad. Granted, we were exhausted but we kept it fun...I laughed until I cried, literally. Good times. Fun weekend. Great excuse to sit down in one place with such great friends...we've all had a hard time getting together, all of us in one room so this was great. One wedding down, one to go this coming weekend! Naples, FL here I come.

The next step

Wedding season is upon me. I have one this weekend in Buffalo, NY for my dear friends Mindy and Bobby and then next weekend I fly down to southern Florida for the wedding of my college pal, Mike, and his fiance, Kathleen, who I have yet to meet.

It's really crazy...my friends getting married..especially my college friends. Most of my friends in Vermont are older so it's not as odd but my college friends, that throws me for a loop. I suppose part of it is because I remember them in the bubble that was 4 years at the University of Florida. We were all so young, so untouched, so lost in this world, so glad to have found each other.

I had this really special group of friends in college. A large group of us who found ourselves in the "anti-social" dorm on campus, thinking we'd never make a friend there...until we did. I remember meeting Mike at our dorm "orientation". He lived down the hall from me with Conley, Joe and Chris. One day I was driving back to my dorm from being someplace on campus (our dorm was on the edge of campus) and I saw Mike and Conley sitting on a bench waiting for the bus so I rammed up over the curb, rolled down the windows and told them to climb in. We were friends from that day forward. We would all eat dinner together at the dining hall almost every night of freshmen year. Myself and those four boys became friends with the four boys directly across from me...Ryan, Mark, CR and Jeff (co-ed floors were pretty great) and then the 2nd semester of freshmen year we met the kids downstairs. At this point, our group of best friends was around 20 people...no joke. We were inseparable. We had a block of seats at the football game so we could all sit together (getting a block wasn't an easy task either). We had an intramural softball team...the girls all wore knee high striped socks. We snuck kegs into the bathroom of one of the downstairs rooms so we could pump beer through the window while playing in the kitty pool we'd set up outback of the dorm. We camped together. We considered renting an old fraternity house so we could all live under one roof, all 20 of us. It was the greatest year. The other 3 of college were right up there too...the only big difference was we all moved off campus to different apartments. Mike, Conley and the rest of the boys from my floor all moved to one place. I moved in with Ryan, Joe and Snyder...they are my family now.

It's when I think back to those times that flashing forward to thinking of next weeks wedding, it is so bizarre. How things change so quickly. I haven't even met his fiance so it's happened in the past 3 years. And now Ryan is engaged. Apparently Mark is too. I remember one night freshmen year, Mark and I got up at 4am and walked out to this field and laid down in the grass to watch a meteor shower. I haven't thought about that in years. I remember sophomore year having to go pick Ryan up after he got in a bike accident...he had tears in his eyes because his bike had been ruined, ill aware of the blood trickling down his injured leg.

How things change. How people grow. How we age. How it used to be tailgating and late night spray painting and beer and Tijuana Flats. Now it's marriage, homes, children, 401Ks. I can't wait to see my college friends. I haven't seen most of them for 3.5 years. I left Florida in a whirlwind, left it for a faraway tundra, for the real world. I left my best guy friend standing in my driveway at my parents house with tears in his eyes, wondering when we'd see each other next.

The next adventure

My sister, Alli, and I decided a few months ago to take a trip together overseas. Sadly our other sister, Colleen, won't be able to join as she has very few vacation days available (they make them use their own vacay days to take Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays!). We decided on Thailand as a nice mix of culture and history, beaches and sand, adventure and relaxation. We've been trying to plan things but my work and personal schedule keeps getting in the way...program start date changing multiple times at work, wedding season taking up free weekends and so forth. It's so hard to get the ball rolling when each week it seems there is some new news at work, the date has changed again, the time isn't right, on and on.

Every time I open my Thailand books I purchased in eager anticipation, I get overwhelmed. Despite the fact that we theoretically could be leaving for Thailand in 2 weeks, it doesn't feel real yet...and I don't think it will until we both finally purchase our plane tickets, once I finally know what the H is going on at work. It's frustrating and I just want to know I'm going already, have it mapped out, begin to book our bungalows and hotels, decide which trek we want to take on the back of a giant elephant, which monasteries to visit, which beaches to lay lazily about, which waters to dive in. It's so hard, being a planner by day, to not want to have this planned out minute by minute already. It also doesn't help that my sister and I are trying to coordinate schedules to talk on Skype since she's enjoying another vacation down in Mexico currently.

Life is tough...it's busy and messy and sometimes you just have to pull the trigger, call the shots, make it happen and let the chips fall as they may. Work doesn't rule my life. I don't get paid enough to put my personal time on hold. I should just book it and say THERE! I have spent the last 6 months working long hours, many weekends with no real vacation...it's time.

Slightly older, slightly more wise?

I am officially 26 and a few days. Some years it feels different, this year it doesn't. Well, I guess it feels a little different but not in a way I expected. I feel a change in the sense that I feel more driven...driven to grow as a person, to climb the corporate ladder, to move into the next phase of my being, to make more steps towards those bigger goals in life. Some things are becoming more clear, others more muddied.

We make these choices in life, these decisions that shape us and form our future in some ways. I look down on myself, where I am today, how I got here. It's all pretty crazy. I moved to Vermont almost 4 years ago...uprooted my entire life, left all my best friends, moved to a totally foreign place to begin the quest to "corporate stardom". I admit, I want to become something...I want my name to be recognized at least in my field of work, whatever that ends up being. I want to make a name for myself. Have I made the right choices up until this point to move towards that goal? Who knows! The way each step affects the future cannot be seen until the future is reached, then you look back and reflect on your choices, your decisions. I do not believe in coincidences...so with that in mind, I must assume that the movement you make in life is purposeful even if it doesn't seem so at the moment.

The bigger picture. I feel like I'm getting closer to seeing it, seeing what is in store, seeing what my next "big thing" is. A year of changes in my work, a year of weddings and engagements and babies, a year of love and love lost, a year of challenges, a year of family health. All these things, all in the span of one year...they are part of the building blocks of the next step, whatever it may be. Another year gone, another age reached, another lesson to be learned.

Another year

Another birthday is almost upon me...2 days away. Even though I'm getting older, I rarely freak out about my birthday. This year I feel especially relaxed about it. Usually I find myself reflecting or assessing my current situation, and maybe in a day or two I will but at the moment I almost feel numb about it. What is a birthday really, other than a way to track time? And time isn't even a trackable thing since it is constantly in motion, it is constantly changing. Each second ticks by, time is moving, fluid, dynamic.

What will this new age have in store for me? I will be going into my 26th year on this planet. That's over a quarter of a century. I've lived all over, traveled all over, studied dozens of subjects, laughed, cried, loved, lost. Every experience up to this point has shaped where I am today. It's easy to look back and say you wish you had done something differently or better but the reality is, every action has a reason...every thing we do puts us where we are today. Sometimes I have to remind myself of my own mantra...there are no coincidences. Or my mom's mantra...everything happens for a reason. All we can do is hope that each decision we make, each action we take teaches us something. If it seems like something we could have done better or differently, perhaps it just takes looking at it from a different angle, realizing it's benefit, it's place in our life, it's purpose in shaping who we are at this moment.

Twenty six. My horoscope (multiple ones actually) say I'm about to have a month of illumination...a month of the spotlight being on me and to make sure that I don't try to revert into the Libran way of wanting to be a balance point between two people, but to let the light shine on me, let the attention be put on me. I don't do well at that but I guess a birthday is a good excuse to give something new a try!

Brrrr

Last night was the first time I've closed all my windows since I moved in to my new apartment (minus a few crazy storms). The chill has arrived, despite the warmer day times, the chill is here...fall is here. Although I love sandals and sundresses (probably too much so), I do love being able to curl up on the couch and pull my alpaca blanket over me, sip some hot tea or coffee, enjoy the warmth of the oven after baking some tarts.

I love the cooking that comes with fall. Tarts and applesauce, soups and bread, squash. The smells are beginning to waft through my apartment...I love it.

The chill also adds an interesting element to my exercising. I have never been one to run in the cold...my lungs burn within mere minutes. But clearly I need to get over this if I'm going to run a half marathon on November 9th. I ran last night along the bike path to enjoy the scenery and my arms and hands were numb by the end, my legs splotchy red from the cold air. Then the wind picks up, a breeze blows across the sweat sending a deep chill down the body.

This weekend will be great. Birthday dinner party for a friend with great food, good friends and a nice porch to sip wine on. Farmers Market with the dogs (I'm doggie sitting for Emi and Kev), coffee and a chocolate croissant on Church St.. Apple picking followed by a massive cooking fest, all things apple...apple tarts, apple pie, apple sauce, salad with apples, you name it, we're going to make it! And then a hopeful attempt at finding tickets for Sunday's Fine Wine and Food Festival at Shelburne Farms. I just have to find tickets!

Enjoy it...enjoy the crisp air. It's so clean, so rejuvenating. Can't you feel it? Can't you feel the cool breeze blowing through, pushing cobwebs away, clearing out that dusty attic, inspiring you to get rid of the old and bring in the new? Fall. A time to fall...fall in leaves, fall into new clothes, fall in love.

Hitting the Brakes

That's what my friend said..."good for you for hitting the brakes". I had been accelerating at a pace that was bound to knock me out at some point. Social events, work events, work, exercise, organizations, etc. etc. I had overbooked and it was only getting worse. Double booking evenings...something from 6-7:30, then 8-11. It was getting to be too much...I was loosing my balance so to speak. So this past weekend, mainly Sunday, I "hit the brakes". I ignored all incoming phone calls. I slept in. I stayed in my pajamas until the afternoon. I drank multiple lattes and read. I baked. I lit candles that filled my apartment with smells of fall. I played music that seemed almost palpable, almost as if I could see the notes physically wafting through my apartment. I nixed going to the gym or for a run despite my original plan of exercising. And I didnt' let myself feel bad about any of that.

It's exactly what I needed. A day or recluse. As a Libra we seek balance. The non-me side of the scale was definitely not balanced with the "me" side. It needed a shift...and still needs some more, but it's much better. Have you ever used an old scale, perhaps in science class way back when? Put pennies in one side..keep loading them on with nothing in the opposite side. Keep going. Keep going. Eventually the whole scale tips over. That's exactly what was beginning to happen. I was doing too much for everyone but myself. Yesterday felt good. The only person in existence was myself and I was pretty pleased about that.

Crisp

There is a crispness in the air. It is the first true sign of Fall. Even when the weather warms up a bit in the afternoon, the crispness doesn't wane. Smells are changing. Trees are turning. Types of food that appeal to me is changing. It's here. In many ways I want to fight it, I want to be back to bathing suits and humidity and sun drenching my skin. I am a summer girl. I love it. But I must say, there's something about Fall that I love. Hearing the breeze blow against my window panes and creep in the cracked window by my bed, sending a chill through me, causing me to pull my covers up to my neck. Again, the smell. It's not tangible, it's not even describable, but it's there. I can almost hear music wafting through the air, the first smell of cinnamon and pumpkin, that first true chilly night.

Seasons change. Moods change. Desires change. Feelings change. Perhaps sometimes it takes an earthly change, an atmospheric change to inspire other change. To create an impetus to change something you've been sitting on for a while. Winter is near. Change is imminent.

Rides, ponies, trapeze and more!

Although I dread the end of summer, there is one thing that I really look forward to that is the first sign of the waning warm days...the county Fair!! I get giddy with anticipation at the first commercial or banner announcing it coming to town. I feel like I'm in an old movie, or in a book such as one of our past book club books...the first group comes to town and gets the crowds excited weeks in advance. I book off evenings for it (yes, I said evenings plural as I usually go twice). I don't know what it is but I truly love fairs. I'm not a discriminatory fair-goer either. I love it all. The food, the rides, the animals, the acts, the music, the carnies, you name it, I love it.

People always seem to be shocked when I mention how much I love going on rides at the Fair..especially when I reveal my love for buying the wristband that permits unlimited riding. I love the slight paranoia involved in considering exactly how rickety the rides are, exactly how under qualified the ride operators are, the chances of launching off the rides to a quick and very public death. But then I think, if I'm going to die on one of these rides, at least I will die in the midst of laughing, of yelling so loud, of feeling the wind pull the skin back on my face, my whole being surrounded in glowing lights and tinkling sounds of carnival games embracing me like a halo. There could be worse ways to go.

Favorites rides. This is a question always asked of me. I particularly love a ride at the Chittenden County Fair known as Freak Out. It swings you and spins you at the same time...you swing high over a candied apple stand. It's best at sunset. Then there's the classic one, maybe called the Tornado? You sit in little car kind of things, 3 to a section, about 6 sections and you spin around and around. I love the feeling of your body slowly sliding across the seat, compressing your ride partner, spit slowly being pulled out of your wide open, screaming mouth, hair blowing uncontrollably. It's that loss of control, that utter release of oneself that is amazing. I love to close my eyes, listen to the sounds and feel the wind against my face. I tell you, it's euphoric.

I also love the really crazy ride that costs $10. It's terrifies me and I can't get enough of it.

Food is a whole other story and a whole other event in itself. I tend to go for the big two...a brat or sausage, loaded with peppers and onions and washing it down with a funnel cake, not to be mistaken for a fried dough. I guess funnel cake is either a southern thing or a Pennsylvania thing but it kicks fried doughs ass. Here's all the explanation you need - more dough touches the fat. Enough said.

Onto what I like to refer to as miscellaneous or icing on the cake. Miniature ponies. Check! Llamas. Check! Bunnies. Check! Roosters and other random aviary animals and or poultry. Check! This year, however, there was an even more amazing "miscellaneous" item. The trapeze!! Yep, that's right. Apparently the trapeze act isn't just for the big top anymore. I have to say...I was mesmerized...and slightly jealous. I wanted to be up there, flying high, twirling through the air, being caught at the last second all while being applauded on by eager onlookers. Perhaps I missed my calling.

Turns out, I know someone who went to Circus Camp as a kid!! How amazing is that? Apparently he excelled at the trapeze. I forget what his other area of specialty was but either way, I'm totally jealous. It has made me want to go to one of those trapeze schools like they have in Manhattan. Adding it to the list of "life to-do's" as we speak.

Until next year...

Overload

I can't blame anyone but myself when I pack my schedule too tight only to then feel stressed or overwhelmed or uncentered. I have been doing this lately...perhaps to make up for having been gone so much of the summer. Aside from work being totally insane and time consuming, it's a dinner party one night, bike ride the next, hosting a cocktail party another night, finding galleries to show my photos in, visiting people or having people visit, gym, bookclub, etc. etc. etc. I love doing these things, they keep me busy, make me feel alive. But at the same time, I'm a libra and we need balance. I have felt like I haven't had time to myself in weeks...time to just cook dinner, sit on the couch and read, take a bath, relax. It's been go-go-go. Due to my new account and the greater responsibility I have with it, I find myself checking email all the time, making lists of tomorrow's to-do's on top of responding to personal emails requesting a get-together.

I was thinking back to last year when I was spending time in the darkroom, ipod on, pulling photos. Or spending hours at the pottery wheel while house-sitting for my pottery teacher. Or the once a week Philo hikes to destress after a long day. Not to mention cooking dinner most nights of the week. My mum and I did some cooking over the weekend and it was so nice, so centering. I forgot how much cooking relaxes me and I just haven't even had time for it. I feel like over the past year I learned how to not put all my focus on me but to care for others more, to think of others first, to relish people and my connections with people. Last winter did this for me and it's a great thing to have gained but now I need to take that and merge it with my previous ability to factor myself in more. Merging the two will be the ultimate scale balance...it is key, and has been missing.

Herding cats

This is what I feel like I've been doing of late. My new account is great...great and insane. It is one of the more challenging accounts I've been on and half of that is because I spend half of my day herding cats. Herding cats, fighting fires and pulling rabbits out of hats. No joke. I'm not sure I could properly explain it to anyone, any better than that.

It's crazy to be so busy...to literally get home from the office at 9:15pm on a Wednesday night and only having left the office because I forced myself to. I definitely have had to put some personal things on the backburner. Laundry, paying bills, seeing friends, reading. Yeah, that hasn't been happening much lately. It's a mix of being stressed and loving it. I love the challenge, the feel of having more to do than there are hours in the day, the ability to call the shots, exercise being a leader. I love it.

Thankfully tonight I am escaping. I am forcing myself out of the office at 5:30 and going to one of my favorite things ever...the FAIR!! It will be a much welcomed treat...riding rides, hanging with the carnies, petting miniature ponies and of course, Fair food...and lots of it! I only hope Caroline plans accordingly this year and eats AFTER riding the rides. Last year we almost had an incident...almost.

Tomorrow it's off to Boston for 2 days to visit some girlfriends, dress up and drink far too expensive cocktails, flirt with men in suits, lay by the beach and drink margaritas and catch up with some good friends. It will be a great treat after a veeeery long and very stressful week.

Happy Labor Day weekend!

Sleep

Sleep has been a very pronounced topic this past weekend for me. Saturday I woke up wanting more, but opted for a nice long bike ride instead to sweat out some cocktails from the night prior. Saturday afternoon and evening I was dying for sleep, and managed to get to bed at a decent hour. Sunday I felt like I had been hit with a tranquilizer gun and was exhausted all day...so much so I opted out of a run I'd been looking forward to all weekend. Sunday night after falling asleep, exhausted, on the couch, I retired to my bed only to lie awake with a million thoughts zooming through my head, unable to quiet it no matter how hard I tried. Who knows how long I lay there cursing my overactive mind. Finally I fell asleep only to have some bizarre dreams...not that my dreams are ever anything of reality, but this was a very bizarre series of events. The majority of the dream has already slipped my mind except for the final element, the last thing that appeared in it...a white rabbit. All dream sources site a white rabbit as being symbolic of faithfulness in a lover. I'm curious now...exactly who is this imaginary lover who is apparently faithful to me??

Revived

Despite the blanket of exhaustion that is currently wrapped around me, I feel invigorated, revived, energized. I spent the past weekend down in Manhattan and then at the Jersey Shore (sounds cliche but is quite nice...at least Spring Lake where we were staying). I needed this...a weekend away, a weekend with too many options, too many possible activities, too many choices. I had to fly to NYC for a meeting w/my new client on Wednesday and then decided to take Thursday and Friday off to see some friends, bump around the city, and then head to my friends shore house in Spring Lake, NJ for a little sun and sand.

Every time I go to Manhattan, it peps me up. I feel alive. I'm not sure what it is because there are definitely times of feeling so minuscule there, but at the same time, it taps into the parts of me that don't get fulfilled that often...the desire to walk through gallery after gallery and gaze at various types of art while listening to my iPod.

Cool record art in Chelsea gallery

Taking a stroll down a tree lined street and stopping into a used book store to peruse the first editions, smell the slight must of old books, feel the covers of delicately embossed old book covers. Pop into a little side street cafe, get a glass of wine and people watch for hours.

Delicious goat cheese and beet salad at W. Village cafe

Museum of Modern Art

Sit at a swank bar and order a far too expensive but oh so delicious cocktail who's only aftertaste is the sound of lounge music wafting through the beautiful interior. Dance the night away to loud beats and bartenders hopping up on the bar with sparklers in hand. Catching a movie premier at a random dive bar complete with a Mardi-Gras esque elephant protruding from the wall. Eating amazing food lit only by the soft glow of a candle and the slight red glow lighting up the walls of a beautiful restaurant complete with a band playing soft music in the background. It's overwhelming in the best way possible. That kind of stimulation, even over-stimulation, makes my blood flow, the color return to my face, the pep return to my step. I feel alive.

Following that up with a relaxing 2 days laying on the sand, listening to waves crash and then throwing on a sundress to sip cold, crisp white wine and play a game or two of bocce.

Spring Lake, NJ

Too many laughs, the total loss of my voice from singing along to a crazy cover band. Sand between my toes. Heaven. It couldn't have been a better weekend.


GW Bridge at 11pm

Overflowing

I tend to do this every so often...actually more often than not. Putting too much on my plate. Work, travel, social plans, dinner parties, projects, etc. etc. etc. This is definitely one of those times. My new work account is keeping me really really busy. I accepted the responsibility of taking photos for our company website so I have to begin tackling that project. Then there's Art Hop. I have to have my photos ready to go by next weekend and I've only so far chosen one piece and it isn't even done being printed yet. I have to spend a fair bit of time tonight going through hundreds of shots and slides, figuring out which is best, what size, etc. and then making sure to get them into print tomorrow. Then there's my constant over-booking of the social calendar. Dinner party at my house, book club at my house, book club in general, bike ride, swimming, wedding help, brunch, drinks, on and on. I look at my calendar on my phone...all it is is appointments and activities. However, I definitely thrive in a booked-schedule environment more than a bored one...I like the stimulation of constantly having plans. Sometimes I go into recluse mode and make no plans for a week or two, totally retreat to my apartment and just relax. That's nice too. Right now is not one of those times.

I think I need a coffee. Or a stiff drink.

Alas

I am free!! This past weekend was my last event as SoBe event manager. I am now officially done traveling for that account and onto my new account which will be great. I have to say, the feeling of knowing I have my summer back, the ability to make weekend plans, it's like I won the lottery. The list of things I've been dying to do will begin to be tackled and I can't wait! Some things on the list of summer fun:
- Camping
- Biking in beautiful remote areas of VT
- Farmers Market every weekend
- Art hop!!
- Trip to Boston
- Trip to NYC
- Hiking
- Berry Picking (went for the first time last Friday...divine!)
- Swimming in the lake
- Boating

I'm sure there are a ton more things....I can't think of them all because I'm so overwhelmed with having my weekends back! Ah yes...let summer begin. Now I just have to hope that we've seen the end of rain for a loooong while.

It's getting better

I feel like quite a bit has happened in the past week or two. There was some time of feeling a little confused about stuff, life, love, work, etc. and sort of feeling like I was at a major crossroads. Granted, I tend to be a peddle to the metal kind of person so once I get an idea in my head I don't really go at half speed. Anywho. This week a lot changed. I got a new account at work and am SO happy about it. I had begun to essentially loath my job...yes, I said it, loath. I had essentially taken a step back and wasn't pleased about it. So now, my new account, I'm the account manager in it which means I oversee everything and that's pretty sweet. Usually I oversee the events stuff but someone oversees that and other elements, but now that's me! Woohoo! It's not yet a full promotion but my review is in less than 3 months so things are looking up! My new client is pretty funny too...Durex condoms. Yep. You heard me.

The second biggest plus of the new account is that I get my summer back. It had really been bumming me out to be gone basically every weekend, miss fun events/trips, etc. but now I get my weekends back and actually will get to enjoy VT summers which are my favorite!! So many things to do, places to go, friends to see, hikes to do, etc. Woohoo! And much more time to run and bike which is huge.

Speaking of running, I have found the 10K I'm doing in August in Richmond, and pretty sure the half I'm going to do in fall is the Shelburne Half Marathon which is super exciting!! However, last night I bummed my foot and can't run for at least a few days and hopefully no more...we'll see how this week goes. I can't really walk much on it right now which is a major bummer since I'm itching to run. Grrr injury. But I'm loooooving track workouts and just how awesome the running makes me feel. And for my bike, Betty Davis (she received her name at my event 2 weekends ago), I'm going to get the rest of my gear today so I can begin riding her. I'm SO excited. I'm thinking of doing a biathlon in NYC in September...run, bike, run, so that is exciting too. It's so nice to be back in the healthy realm, exercising not just regularly but actually training and working towards improving. I grew up an athlete and it's nice to feel like I'm finally getting back to where I want to be athletically.

What else...my oldest sister and I are planning a vacation this fall to Thailand. I'm SO pumped about that...I've always wanted to go and had considered an African Safari this year but she's going to be down in SE Asia and wants to travel together so Thailand is a great next option. The planning is just barely beginning but I already feel so excited about it.

That's all for now.

Running goal #2

Yes, it is true...I'm a convert. I have come to love running .Bizarre, I know. I recently found a weekly track workout with legit coaches...sponsored runners and triathletes, and it has inspired me even more. I don't want to just run to run, I want to be decent...maybe not change my career or anything, but instead of just running a race to finish, I'd like to at least be somewhat decent. I have found that having goals really helps me stay motivated, pushes me further, keeps me excited. At the recommendation of one of the track workout coaches, I am going to do a 10K as a pre-half-marathon prep race. So I have decided to do the Round Church 10K in August. I'm pretty pumped! We talked about my running plan for the next 5 weeks and will be working specifically toward the 10K for the next 5 weeks of track workouts. And now that I know what I need to fix on my stride and foot placement, I'm hoping I begin to see some serious improvements in the coming weeks. Woohoo!

Hauntings

I was discussing something with a friend yesterday and she used a word that so perfectly described what I was talking about...haunting. Have you ever had an encounter with a "ghost of Christmas past" and found yourself confused and Helen Keller-ing your way through the aftermath of it? I had en encounter that was good, nice, necessary that then turned into a reminder of things past, empty promises, throwing of a bone and taking it back, watching a wrench be thrown into some plan and then that's it, throw in the towel instead of figuring something else out.

When you find that a ghost has come to haunt you, do you embrace it and hope to make friends or do you exorcise the demons? Will it be fulfilling to just kick it out with full force without asking why it's there, figuring out it's motives, seeing what's up? Or is it better to wait it out, see if the ghost is trying to figure things out itself, trying to move into the next realm of after life. Perhaps we are trained to want to control things too much, to force answers out of situations when in reality, only time and growth will give answers, will make things better, will allow ghost and human to co-exist peacefully, and who knows, maybe even become friends.

On time

My google "horoscope" this morning ended with a very interesting quote, one I'm surprised I had never heard before - "Appointments with destiny are always on time." I don't know why this struck me as so interesting, so intriguing but it did. Now, let's be honest, it doesn't take much to quickly distract me and send my mind reeling so this was no different.

You know when you can sense something but don't know what it is? Maybe you don't, but I can almost smell a change about to occur, an event about to happen, a shift in the works. Familiar things start to look slightly different, the feel of things is a bit morphed, sounds affect me differently. I don't know how to explain it.

I found myself picking up one of my favorite books two nights ago, The Celestine Prophecy. I read this book many years ago and it was one of those books I read at the exact right moment in my life, it left a profound effect on me. I am not sure what compelled me to pick it up again but as I read I am reminded of these little "instances" that I've noticed, reminders, tiny things that only make sense when coupled with other tiny things. Celestine Prophecy is based around that, sort of...it is based around the thought that there are no coincidences in life. You know when you think about something and then all of a sudden they call or you see a few things that remind you of someone and the next thing you know they are at your doorstep? Yep...these are not coincidences, but the systems of the universe, pointing out what is about to happen in an oh so subtle way. It's curious to think about that...it's curious considering the little here's and there's I've had of late.

Appointments with destiny are always on time.

Oh the weekend, the weekend

When you spend more weekends in hotels and airports than not, it is amazing to feel a weekend, a real weekend in your own town with your own plans. This past weekend was the best weekend of the year so far I believe (although a few here and there are quite close). I took Thursday off and we had Friday off which also made for a nice little treat. Some dear girl friends of mine had been planning on a trip up to Burlington for the weekend which I was counting down their arrival for weeks. I spent Thursday doing some errands and laundry and such and spend the majority of the day planning a menu and cooking for my fireworks cocktail/dinner soiree with the girls. They arrived in the evening and showed up to champagne filled with strawberries and blueberries (my attempt at patriotic colors). This was followed by Brierley's delicious Peach Mojitos. I started the feast with some Caprese salad (tomatoes, basil, mozzarella, balsamic and olive oil) followed by some cheese and crackers. Next up we had ginger-lime shrimp and zucchini and red onion flatbread. We attempted to eat this outdoors but after many many bug bites we took it inside.

Dessert was a new concoction with my awesome ice cream machine - Olive Oil Gelato w/balsamic strawberries. I know, sounds weird, olive oil gelato but it's divine! We attempted to watch the fireworks from Emi and Kev's porch (I was "house sitting") but the trees obstructed the view so we took to the streets..literally straddling the yellow lines of College St. A little downtown action followed with some interesting sights.

Friday was a lovely day laying out on Shelburne Bay and watching Louis the chocolate lab attack rocks in the water...quite entertaining. Friday night we had another awesome cookout hosted at Brierley's place and ended up seeing multiple awesome fireworks shows right from her living room.

Saturday was one of those days that you just love good weather and beautiful sights. The girls all woke up early and met at Starbucks and then we took to the road and headed to Lake George, NY to hang out with Eve at her family's house.

The drive was beautiful and quite fun with an interesting trip to Walmart...no hummus to be found anywhere. We had an interesting trip out onto the lake on someone's boat only to get stranded. He neglected to tell us upon climbing aboard that he was planning to stay on the lake until late in the evening. So we hitched a ride w/another boat, who then took us in their minivan sans back seats to Eve's dad's house where her friend picked us up and dropped us off back at the original beach we were at. We had nothing with us except a few pairs of sunglasses and hats...no shoes, no cover ups, no food or water. It was pretty hilarious. A beautiful drive back and then I headed to Emma's birthday dinner at the Trat which was amazing. Soe and I had some delicious digestivs that I'm still thinking about. Green Room was fun and many laughs, secrets in the bathroom and Penelope dancing up Main St.

Sunday was spent enjoying brunch at PennyCluse followed by some accidental shopping (oops!). The afternoon was spent cooking Honey-Oat Bread and Chocolate/Chocolate Chip cupcakes with vanilla cream cheese frosting topped with raspberries. Then we were off to one of the most amazing summer nights...an outdoor concert at Shelburne Museum. Feist played and she was amazing. There was a gorgeous sunset, cool breeze and we packed an amazing picnic. Zoe was being the cutest thing ever (minus a bit of excess drool on my arm). It felt like heaven. I don't think I could have been in a more amazing setting.

My new living room

Sweet and satisfying after bitter and bad

Yesterday was an interesting day. It was a Monday, which can always be a bit rough especially since I took Friday off so I was coming off of a 3 day weekend. The bitter and bad unfortunately refers to work. Things have been...well, surprising lately to say it nicely. I suppose my expectations and reality are not quite in line with each other and my non-work life is being affected more than I had expected or hoped. So, it's tough...forging through unexpected territory, trying to find my way and figure it out without getting totally bummed out. Not to mention the stresses of dealing with people who think they are the only account in existence (not co-workers or client, but other groups involved in the events I am working on). It made for a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth upon leaving work.

And then came the sweet and satisfying part of the day. First off, I put my new ice cream machine to work and made a delicious, no, ecstasy filled creation - Pina Colada sorbet. Divine. I wanted to eat it until it was completely gone and than lick the icy cold freezer bowl (visions of "A Christmas Story" danced in my head). Following my sweet post-work treat was another enjoyable event. It was finally nice out...warm, sunny, cool breeze. Oh how glorious a sun dress feels, flowing lightly against sun flecked legs, the breeze dancing across my bare shoulders as I strolled down to Church St. I met a new friend for drinks. This new friend I was introduced to through a Bostonian friend whom insisted that we would become instant friends. The new friend just moved back to Burlington. We had met once before but this was our first official "girl date". We sat outside at Half...a thing I have been dreaming of since the last day of summer last year. Mojitos and wine. Great conversation. So much in common it's almost like we came from the same pod. It's always exciting making a new friend. And it was such a positive note to end what had been a rough day.

Summer...oh how I've been longing for thee.

This could mean trouble

I admit that I sometimes have a shopping problem. My closet is testament enough of this little affliction. Something about purchasing garments just feels so darn good! Now, I have an equal weakness for home goods and cooking items. This is why going into Williams Sonoma never results in pure browsing. Yesterday was no different. I was wandering through the mall and decided to pop in, see what little sample treat they had, check out some items and just get inspired to cook that night. Then sometime caught my eye. This shiny red instrument of awesomeness...the Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker. And then it began..the ladies of W&S must have smelled the shopper in me. They began giving me samples of different ice creams they had made that day, showed me all kinds of recipes, talked about ones they had made and so on. Over a half hour later, I walked out with this...yeah, I couldn't resist. And they even threw in a free bottle of pina colada mix to make this delectable pina colada sorbet over grilled pineapple. So, I am going to attempt my first batch tonight and I'm pretty excited! I am hoping to stick with sorbets and yogurts with the occasional gelato here and there but I am determined to not allow this purchase to add to my waist line :-).

I have a feeling this could become a big hit at dinner parties. I'm even thinking about whipping up a few different flavors and having an ice cream social in the coming weeks! Yey!!

Physics and Good Samaritans

Last night I had an experience with physics and good Samaritans. I picked up a couch some friends were giving me and Kevin and I headed over to my place to get it up the stairs. I had pre-measured the couch and stairs to insure it would fit and knew that it would on certain sides. We get to house, make it in the front door, up the first set of stairs and are feeling good at our ability to turn and rotate this bad boy. Then we reach the landing to my stairs. Why do old houses have odd turns or skinny stair wells or low door frames or doors that don't match up? It took us many many attempts at pushing the couch through and straight up to get it through the frame at the bottom of the stairs. We tried every configuration possible and were within a centimeter of getting it. Then suddenly two people show up to help. They had been next door at the Bed and Breakfast and could see us struggling through the window so decided to come offer help. After about 30 minutes of attempts we finally jammed it through the door. Home free! Or so we thought. We begin to climb the last set of stairs only to realize that the couch is on the wrong side to fit through the door. And then we get stuck going back down. It was at this point that I decided if I had a chainsaw i'd just start hacking this thing to pieces and say the hell with it. I honestly thought there may be a couch stuck in my hallway permanently. We finally start to get it back down so we can rotate it to the correct side. All of a sudden the couch makes a lurch down the stairs...Kevin and I were on the bottom and had full control but during a quick step down my arm got caught up against a protruding outlet type box...a good inch protrusion from the wall. It pretty much tore across my arm in a fit of searing pain and agony. At first it seemed like nothing had come of it minus some compression pain. And then the massive bump, bruising and cut showed up. This photo is after much icing and cleaning.

The good news? We finally spun the couch onto it's correct side and after a few hard pushes to get through one door, we were in. Two and a half hours later. Kevin is a saint and I'm sure Emma was wondering what the hell was taking so long. Those random strangers from the B&B are also saints. And the best thing is...the lady was a Gator!! She went to undergrad at Florida and was getting her Vet degree there currently. Talk about a small world, and how much that made me smile. It's true..."Through all kinds of weather we'll all stick together for F-L-O-R-I-D-A!"


Now I truly understand why furniture delivery charges and/or movers cost so much.

Good service goes a long way

Last night I made a trip to my local co-op to get a few ingredients for a late dinner. They didn't have one thing I needed that was a key element for the dish but as I was discussing this item (pre-made crepes) with what I'm guessing was a manager, she then quickly ran upstairs and printed me out two recipes for how to make them on my own and talked about them a bit. It's moments like that that I really appreciate good service - going out of your way to assist a customer. Sometimes I forget that feeling b/c it isn't always super prevalent, but it is greatly appreciated from this customer. Customer service will keep me returning over and over again.

And I ended up making whole wheat crepes from scratch ... it was a bit challenging at first but once I got the hang of it I really enjoyed it and began devising in my head all the wonderful things I could do with this now. Whole wheat and brown sugar crepes with strawberries and homemade whipped cream, mascarpone and fresh berries and pineapple, savory crepes with feta, cucumbers, olives and artichokes. The possibilities are endless now that I have braved the world of homemade crepes!

A world away and many decibels later

"It's like a third world country out there in general camping." A quote from my client at SoBe and so true. I have just returned from Bonnaroo. We were there representing SoBe and handing out more samples than we could physically pour. I have never been to Bonnaroo and it was an experience to say the least. We stayed in a rather small RV for a week and came to find out the first day that the generator we had sent to power the AC wasn't strong enough for just that so we survived on small fans. Thank goodness it cooled down at night considering during the day it capped out at 90+ degrees of pure cloudless heat. The RV housed 4 of us, 5 on a few nights that a friend crashed on the top bunk. We somehow got placed at the wrong campground and were a good 10-15 minute walk to our booth. 10-15 minute walk isn't so bad you would think...but when it's a virtual dust bowl and 90 degrees by 9am with the sun beating down on your like a massive bonfire, and the work day has yet to begin, it's a different story.

Some highlights:
- Silent Disco. Greatest thing ever. Picture a tent full of people dancing, but not music is playing..or at least none you can hear. Then you step in, done a pair of sound cancelling headphones, the DJ sounds come piping in and suddenly your head is bobbing in tune with everyone else's. Then the best part - removing your headphones to hear only feet shuffling against the damp grass and the occasional shout along with the song. Brilliance.
- Icy cold or scolding hot showers
- Front and center Metallica
- Jack Johnson followed by free beers followed by Pearl Jam
- Late night Tiesto and dancing in the rain
- Funnel cake
- Campground cruising (this is where the 3rd world country comment comes from...while we were driving a golf cart around general camping to hand out samples, it became apparent that we were in a whole new world at Bonnaroo...tents packed so tight you could barely walk between. People just rolling in from last nights shows. A massive fury of people running towards anything free. People begging for rides to at least get a little closer to the festival village)
- Familiar faces in an unfamiliar crowd

It was a wild time. It brought back many flashes of my childhood and our camping trips. Sitting outside of the camper, warmed by the glow of the flower shaped lights. The familiar smell of campers (is that a standard issue car freshener or what?). The awesome power of baby wipes when the shower was simply too hot or cold to bear. Enjoying the lack of frills and the lack of ability or desire to dress up, do your hair nicely and put on cute shoes.

Not to mention the music. I am not a concert goer. I rarely pay to watch people play live. I don't know, it's just not my thing. But here, in an environment where that's what everyone was there for, and which I didn't have to pay the hefty $300 entrance fee for, it was incredible. The tingles that crawled up my dewy skin as Jack Johnson played a flawless ballad...indescribable. The piercing sound of electric guitars as you watch the artists fingers move faster than a 400HP sportscar. The reverberating earth beneath your feet as Tiesto pumps tunes so heavily laden with bass you can feel them in your soul. It was an experience. One I'd like to have again only without the 12 hour workdays included. Photos coming soon.

From purple mountains majesty to purple lights of the strip club

I have just arrived in Nashville, TN. We just spent a week in Vail for the Teva Mountain Games which was a great event in an incredibly beautiful city. After the first day we decided to rent bikes to cruise from hotel to event site and so on. I had a sweet teal cruiser. As I peddled down the main pedestrian street of Vail Village, the sight in the distance was one I can't do justice with words. These huge looming mountains covered in snow sat quietly, overlooking the whole valley. It was the best way to start each day.

We finished the event yesterday and hopped on a flight this afternoon to head to the next event - Bonnaroo. We're spending a night in Nashville before driving down to Manchester. Let me paint a quick picture of the change of scenery. For the past week we have been living at the Vail Plaza Hotel and Club - a beautiful new hotel with 3 hot tubs, a nice gym, friendly staff, beautiful rooms and smack in Vail Village. Tonight we are at a Comfort Inn just off the highway into Nashville where I can literally see flashing purple and red lights at the strip club across the street. Yep. And tomorrow we will be moving in to an RV in the middle of a field in Manchester, TN...although I'm pretty sure the RV will seem nicer then our current hotel accommodations.


The Atlanta to Nashville flight was delayed, than we sat on the runway for a good bit. However, it was a small price to pay for what I saw towards the end of the flight. The most amazing thing - a powerful lightening storm out the window of the plane. Huge thunderheads nearby with lightening snapping every second...giant flashes of lights, small strobes of it, large bolts shooting down from the cloud. It was magnificent. I tried to catch a photo of it but the power of the skies was too much for me.

Some interesting post-Teva Games tid-bits: I saw some awesome dogs do some impressive things like jumping 6'6" off the ground and into a pool. I had some tasty food at various establishments. I wore my amazing 80's sequined cocktail dress to an event party...it was definitely a major hit. I made new friends. I realized how much altitude really does affect your system...my running skills were severely compromised by being at 8,150 feet.

Things I'm looking forward to this week. Roughing it...I grew up a child of camping trips, and have spent enough time living out of a backpack to appreciate a few days of throwing a hat on and tramping through mud. I will get to see more musicians in concert in 4 days than I've seen my whole life - top choices include: Jack Johnson, Metallica, Tiesto, Vampire Weekend, Kanye West, Tegan and Sara and more. Silent Disco (I'll explain after experiencing). Good friends of mine coming down to work with us. Bonnaroo update will come next week.

On the road again, in more ways than one.

I am disappointed in how bad I've been about updating my blog...there has just been so much going on lately I've barely had time to sleep (hellooo...3.5 hours Saturday night, 2 hours Sunday night). This past weekend I moved out of my wonderful King St. apartment that I had lived in for two years. It was bitter sweet. There are things I will not miss at all, yet that place is full of amazing memories, funny stories, lessons learned, emotions shared, friends made, loves lost. It took a lot of time to find a decent place to live and I stumbled upon an awesome spot. The move-in was interesting to say the least. It involved, among other things, a towed Ryder van the day of the move, moving people that were about 2 hours late, a couch that wouldn't fit out of the door therefore had to be sold to the new tenants of my old apartment, and me staying up until 2:30am to do some unpacking only to wake up at 4:30am to go catch a flight. But the new place makes me smile...it fits, it's perfect. There is still some serious unpacking to do, furniture to buy, artwork to be hung but it's getting there and more will be done upon my return.

Here it is once all boxes had been brought in from the truck...a giant mess!






















Right now I am in Vail, CO for the Teva Mountain Games, representing SoBe. We got in Monday afternoon and will begin our set-up later this afternoon. It is so beautiful here...the mountains, the rivers and streams, the smells. I forgot how much I love this area of the country. The only tough part about it is the elevation. Vail is at 8,150 feet and I can definitely tell the difference. I've gone running the past 2 days and it has been a struggle. I have been running 4 and 5 miles consistently at home with no issue and I've been struggling with 2-3 miles here...it feels like I am a smoker with asthma! Here's hoping it gets better each day and will make me all that much stronger when I return to sea level!

I will be heading directly from Vail on Monday to Manchester, TN for a week of Bonnaroo which should be fun. Some great headliners not to mention our sweet RV we'll be living in for a week. Life on the road...it's tricky, but has a lot of perks as well. I always look forward to meeting new people, making new contacts, making new friends, seeing new places, learning and growing as a professional.

Oh and how could I forget...the marathon! What an amazing day it was. Our 5.5 mile leg went so well! We improved our time by almost 1.5 minutes per mile! We were literally passing people right and left (granted, this was mile 19 of the marathon so the people we were passing we undoubtedly full marathoners). It was such a rush, such a fun experience and so much positive energy flowing through the streets. It made me really fired up for running. Now I am training for a 10K that Emma, Penelope, Elisa, Becky and I are looking to do in summer or early fall...maybe even a half in Fall depending on how things go. It feels great....some days I hate the run, or feel some serious pain but in the end I love the satisfaction of completing a run.

Other than moving, running and traveling for work there have been some other things here and there. Interesting run-ins, interactions with people I hadn't seen in a while. Some feelings I had packed away reared their heads ever so slightly. Some confusion. Some validation. Some things to think about. Some things to sort out. Do we ever truly know what we want? Need and want are very different things. Want and should/should not are also quite different. Who knows where the road will curve.

Running update

So, last night was the first time doing 5 miles...I think in my whole life (how sad is that?). I have to admit that I was a bit nervous going into it...could I do it? Would I have to stop? Would I be dead the next day? I was already terribly sore from the shoe mishap on Monday..would that make the run more difficult?

We took off for the run and right away I felt good...felt light on my feet, felt like I had good oxygen intake. And long story short, we did it...the whole 5 miles, no stopping and both feeling really good...I'm sure we could have gone longer, I'm positive. It felt GREAT. With that 5 mile run under my belt I'm feeling confident and ready for the race on Sunday. And I'm feeling ready to keep running as a constant in my life. My running partner and I have already decided that we're going to continue running once or twice a week together. We found an awesome 5 mile loop with the last mile being along the lake...the perfect way to end a run.

Now I am beginning to think of my next goal. Since my sister runs full marathons, I'm thinking a fun new goal would be her and I doing a half together (baby steps...). Who knows!

Come cheer our teams on on Sunday. KeyBank red jerseys - Team "Will Run for Cree-Mees" and "Soak up the Run". I'll be running the 4th leg from Battery Park up North Ave. Woohoo!