Ownership

So often I find that people, myself included, aren't willing to take ownership of things. It can be as simple as ownership of a mistake, or as big as ownership of their own feelings and in turn, their destiny. I have had people be surprised when I mention "flaws" about myself, or things I'm not good at..."I'm a control freak". "You don't want me on your softball team, I have horrible hand/eye coordination". "I trip and fall a lot". I am not afraid of things that are a core part of me. Or things I'm not good at. I own up to that, with pride I might add. I think that being able to say what you are bad at, or ill equipped to do, is just as important as saying and knowing what you ARE good at and can do well.

Emotions can be more tough. Taking ownership over things you feel, things you need, things you desire...that can be a little more tricky. It puts us on the line, it puts our ego out there for a possible bruising, it puts our pride in the spotlight. But have you ever just said, "F-it" and said or done something, regardless of the implications, just because it needed to be done or said? Because you needed to take ownership of it, you needed to be honest with yourself about it? It's amazing...freeing, invigorating, enlivening. Sometimes shedding the tin-man persona can be the best thing ever.

Time she flies

Oy...sometimes I think about much I'm slacking on blogging and then I get overwhelmed with how much I have not reported on so can't even mentally grasp trying to fill in the gaps. So, I have decided when a substantial amount of time has passed, I need to just skip to the present tense, start from today. If I have a rainy/snowy Saturday, I can fill in some blanks. I really want to post about Thailand, but I feel especially stressed over that topic because I want to do it right, not skimp, not forget important details, spend time writing properly and conveying the tone and feelings I had. So, Thailand posts will happen at some point...perhaps when I'm feeling a little bit of SADs (season affective disorder) and need to relive my vacation.

Today is December 11th, 2008. It's almost halfway through December...seriously, how is that possible? I swear that it was just yesterday I was snowshoeing with some friends and yummy hot chocolate. Just yesterday that I was in Istanbul. Just yesterday that I was living on the road working with SoBe. How does time fly so? There is snow on the ground...not much, but it's there. Definitely miniscule compared to last year at this time. I have been attending holiday parties like they are designer sample sales. Last night was Soe's annual Holiday Craft and Cookie Exchange...I love it. Everyone brings 2 dozen cookies and you leave with 2 dozen cookies. Not to mention the various holiday crafts...I made a pomander ball (my favorite) AND the special craft this year of Peace Cranes...I also love. They are so beautiful, so elegant, so representative. We drank mulled cider, listened to Christmas music and caught up with some amazing ladies. Tomorrow night is Becky and Ewen's annual holiday party which i'm also super excited for. Many delicious finger foods and some delectable cocktail that Becky whips up. It guarantees to be an evening of amazing food, great company and conversation, and a pleasant little buzz.

I have vowed a few things for this winter. 1) Snowboard more than last year. I went 3 times last year. Pathetic. Although at the time, my reason was good, it was a compromise. 2) Less complaining about the cold. I chose to stay here this winter, I know what it's like, deal with it. 3) More house gatherings. I live in an amazing apartment and even though it's small, it's homey and a great place to gather with friends and beat the cold, versus trekking downtown to be ultimately disappointed in the bar scene. 4) Get back on my gym plan...I have a half marathon and Olympic distance triathlon on the summer 2009 calendar so I need to get my butt in primo shape before the warm weather hits. Once its' warm out, it'll be peddle to the metal...feet to pavement, wheels to pavement, body to lake. 5) Not compromise. I compromised myself a little last winter and this year I will not. Last winter taught me a lot about myself, and I refuse to let anything get in the way of me being me. 6) Be the best maid of honor ever...did I mention that Becky asked me to be her Maid of Honor?!?!?! I have to say, it's one of the most amazing honors to be given...I am taking my role seriously and giving her the best engagement and all things leading up to, and at, the wedding.

Happy Snow!