The Past Reflects Eternally Between Two Mirrors...

I am completely addicted to this new book I'm reading - Shantaram. I'm entranced. Enthralled. Engrossed. Enveloped. I have two other books, scratch that, three that I'm supposed to have done by next week, one of which I am the host for and I can't seem to pick them up in lieu of this book.

I am a total nerd, especially when it comes to reading. One of my tendencies is that I dog ear pages and underline key phrases/quotes. This book is quickly becoming a series of dog ears. I swear, every other page has a profound statement, and they are beginning to truly affect me. One of my favorites is part of this blog entries title: "The past reflects eternally between two mirrors - the bright mirror of words and deeds, and the dark one, full of things we didn't do or say."

I try to live by a similar quip - "I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do." It's definitely easier said than done, but if you can do it, if you can live that way, the rewards far beat the risks associated with having regret of things undone or unsaid.

A new situation I have found myself in has really pushed me to follow this...to look at that mirror of the past and remind myself, today is the day, the day to not hold back, to not sally out, to not tip toe around. Today is the day to go for it, to take a risk, to take a bit of a leap of faith b/c I have nothing to lose except regret of not trying with all my might.

The other amazing part about this book, besides the general story and amazing quotes is that it is making me HUNGRY to travel, specifically to India. I can't express how badly I wish I could just take off for a few months and travel, explore. It's so in my heart, in my soul, the desire. I know I eventually will take a "sabbatical" from life and do it...perhaps it just isn't the right time. Perhaps my time will be when I meet that "someone" and we do it together, an adventure to begin a journey of life together. Who knows. All I know is winds are changing, things are stirring, and I dig it. And I refuse to let moments pass...I refuse to look at the mirror of my recent and soon to be past and see the dark mirror. It's a gift, hold on to it as long as it will let you.

Dawning

It can be really hard sometimes to not get ahead of ourselves, but sometimes the feeling is too great to just ignore it and not get a bit carried away. 

Beginnings. I have always had mixed feelings about beginnings of anything because it’s the most uncertain point of something new. Be it a move, a job, a friend, a lover, a pet. You have no idea how the next day will be, if it will be better or worse than the current, if it will end up only getting more amazing with each passing minute, if it’s destined to be something greater, something with even more meaning that you originally imagined. I think humans, as a species, are raised to feel uncomfortable with this sort of new uncertainty, we want to know what’s ahead so we can plan. But that, in and of itself, can ruin the innocence of a beginning, can rob it of it’s purity which, in the end, will be what leads it to something greater. Letting it be what it will be, in that day, that instant, without worrying about the next day or moment will hold. 

Sometimes it’s hard to make sure we don’t get in the way of ourselves, that we take the moment for the moment and live fully in it. But when you can do that, especially in the case of beginnings, it is so rewarding, so fulfilling, so great. Surrendering yourself to a circumstance, it’s invigorating. You leave it without regret, without what-ifs, what could-haves. So how do you know if a moment, part of a beginning has been a success, beyond the gut feeling, that slight nausea of greatness? Sometimes you take a quick glance back at the moment and you see it looking right back at you...then you know...it agrees. 

It Starts

Somehow, every year, I forget that summer is my crazy season. Ok that's kind of a lie...every season is my busy season. But summer is when my work travel goes into high gear, and my life in general seems to become packed with things to do, places to go, people to see, projects to complete.

Now, if you were witness to my work travel schedule last summer, you will understand how excited I am to report that this summer will be MUCH lighter. Ok, it is still a lot for people who never travel for work but considering last summer I was home about, oh, 4-8 days max a month, it's a major improvement. I will be gone about 7-9 days a month from now until the end of the year, managing my clients presence at the Dew Action Sports Tour. It will be long, hard working days but the locations are great and I have friends in most of the cities. I also know a lot of people on the tour and haven't seen them in a few years so it will be great to have a monthly reunion. My tour of duty will take me to Chicago, Boston, Portland OR, Salt Lake City and Orlando. Not bad spots. I'll be making a quick stop in Seattle next weekend too for a Zumiez Couch Tour event...I've never been to Seattle so I'm excited to check it out, although I've been told to skip the Space Needle, it's the Pee-Wee squad of high towers. I will for sure be taking a ride on a ferry though.

Besides work, I feel like summer consists of little weekend trips to see friends or hit the beach, Saturday farmers markets, BBQ's, pool parties, boating, the plethora of races I want to do, concerts on the lawn, bookclub, dinner parties and more. Not to mention wanting to take a dance class and finish my photography website. Does it ever end?

Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I weren't constantly busy. Like, what do people do when they don't have plans? Ok...I have free nights and weekends (it's like a cellphone commercial) every so often, and believe me, I cherish them. But sometimes I think, you never know what's around the corner, and you certainly aren't going to find out by doing nothing. 

Viva La Summer!

It's Almost Ready!

So, I have been working on a website the past week or two, specifically for my photos. It's nothing super fancy, but it's pretty cool for a first time, no programming background website if you ask me. Amen to Mac's iWeb...seriously, genius. I am really excited to launch in it hopes of it helping me at least be inspired to keep up with my photography more regularly, and ideally get me some shows and/or sales of prints. I will post the website as soon as it's officially live. 

I like feeling inspired about something I love. Sometimes I forget, and then something ignites that passion that lives deep within me. Photography is absolutely that, and I've become more inspired recently. I've become inspired to pursue it more, and more importantly, to do it more. I really want a new lens. I really want more trips to continue to inspire me. I really want to become more brave with photographing people. Goals are good. Inspiration is great. Together they are a wonderful pair I believe. 

URL to come. Stay tuned!