An anniversary

It's funny how sometimes we know something before we consciously recognize it. Earlier this evening I got the hankering to listen to The xx. I love them but I haven't actively played them in a few months so wasn't sure where the random need to play the album came from but who am I to argue w/the desire for some good tunes? I put them on and quickly melted into their hypnotic voices, smooth melodies.

It reminded me of my friend Tera, the one who introduced me to them. This in turn brought back a rush of memories of exactly when I first heard them...at the rental house we had on the oceanfront of Encinitas, CA where we were for a week for work. Descending the stairs to their hypnotic voices, smooth melodies with the sound of waves in the background and smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. I can literally sense the cool tiles against my feet, the salty air and mist from the early morning sky.

I decided to give her a little shout out on FaceBook about this reminiscing and then it struck me. What is today's date? When was I in Jackson Hole last year? Valentine's Day. Count backwards...hold the phone, Encinitas was almost exactly one year ago. Had my mind known that and therefore triggered this desire to hear The xx, to be transported back there? I really think so. I think our minds have a stronger bank of recognition then we give it credit for...a greater ability to recognize the importance or significance of certain dates, times, places, smells.

The other day I was at yoga and I actually thought about this trip, particularly this one night, sitting on the beach after snowboarding at a secret spot all day. A cool air, a beach fire, a bottle of wine, a guitar and 3 great new friends. I went to this place during yoga as a place of peace, of feeling centered, feeling warmth.

I've traveled a lot and had many random happenings, interesting meetings, intense memories, but I must say that trip is one that will forever give me a smile, be a place of peace and balance in my mind, a sense of warmth and wholeness.

Happy Anniversary TD, DL and BB. All my love and happiness for our fortuitous weekend, sealing our lifelong friendships.

"When I find myself by the sea, in another's company by the sea. When I go out to the pier, gonna dive and have no fear." - The xx, VCR

Signs

Although I constantly preach that there are no coincidences, I am still constantly baffled by the world, the universe's ability to provide us with so much foreshadowing of things to come. I recently had a great example of this. Someone who was no longer in my life had recently been popping up here and there, randomly, and I was questioning the meaning of it, if there was anything beyond the blatant meaning of it all. And then yesterday I got my answer. It was foreshadowing of a run-in, a first interaction.

Is it just me or isn't it a sort of law that when someone asks "how are you?" regardless of how you are, you generally answer "good" or "great" or "doing fine". Maybe on a rare occasion to someone you are very close with you'd say "eh...i've been better" or "having a rough day". Last night I got the response "terrible". No joke. I didn't realize anyone actually responded to "how are you" with "terrible". I have to say, it was bizarre...bizarre, off-putting, and a bit sad. I do not know the root of the "terrible", I didn't inquire, but one has to wonder...what compels someone to be so bad off they would actually say "terrible"? Maybe there is a bit of a refreshing element in it, that someone would be so brutally, painfully honest? However, does saying out loud that you are doing terrible, just make it worse? The power of positive thinking...it's an interesting topic. An interesting theory.

I hope none of you are ever doing so bad, are so sad or stressed that you feel the need to say you are doing terrible. And if you are feeling that low, I hope you call me to talk instead.

Simple Pleasures

Sometimes I remind myself how essentially easy I am to please, how sometimes the smallest things give me the biggest smile. Current simple pleasures:
- Waking to new snow...white coated branches, bushes wearing a shawl of snow, fresh snow underfoot
- Snow falling...dancing through the air, eerily perfect silence as it falls
- My friends dog wagging his tail whenever they say my name to him
- A new puppy, full of fluffy new fur
- Having time to make a second latte before going to work
- Upcoming dinner parties
- The anticipation of an evening snowshoe
- 5 minutes of extra sleep
- A new recipe to try
- The smell of the almost expired narcissus flowers on my dining room table
- The little birds that nestle into the bare bushes beside my house...they chirp softly every morning as I walk by on the way to my car. I always say good morning
- A morning phone call from a friend and being a few minutes late to work because catching up was a perfect start to the morning
- The perfectly baked, soft, oatmeal chocolate chip cookie from Great Harvest
- Orchids. Always.
- A text or email with only the words "thinking about you"

Sometimes I forget that the small details are what really make up the big picture. In my job, this is what I deal with on a daily basis, making sure all the tiny minute details that no one sees are in place b/c without them the big picture would be incomplete. Life is similar. You can't build a chemical compound without first having atoms, you can't build a house without nails, bolts, caulking and other tiny items. They become the glue that holds the framework together.

Dreams

I have mentioned in previous posts my interest in dreams. I have been slacking on writing them down when I wake up...usually it's the first thing I do before even getting out of my bed. The more you write down your dreams, the more often you remember them. Today was the first day in months I wrote it down.

After writing it down and remembering key parts, key items, I proceeded to look up several of the key elements to get a light interpretation. There is one scene in particular from my dream that coupled with the supposed "meaning" of certain elements, it is pretty much a perfect representation of current events in my life. I woke from this dream curious...curious because it was so heavily laden with a specific theme, a common denominator throughout, something that has been on the forefront of my daily thoughts for the past week or so. And I rarely dream of things that are blatantly relevant to my life, my present state of mind. Usually it is very gray as to what is going on. Last night's was much more black and white, much more pertinent to where I am right now.

Maybe dreams are really just a garbage disposal of random meaningless items in our minds. Maybe they mean nothing other than to clean out the mind in order to start a new day. Maybe they are a release of pent up energies, pent up issues that we need to release somewhere. Maybe they really are a gateway to our subconscious, a telling of current events, symbolism for current situations and things to come. "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."