Overload

I can't blame anyone but myself when I pack my schedule too tight only to then feel stressed or overwhelmed or uncentered. I have been doing this lately...perhaps to make up for having been gone so much of the summer. Aside from work being totally insane and time consuming, it's a dinner party one night, bike ride the next, hosting a cocktail party another night, finding galleries to show my photos in, visiting people or having people visit, gym, bookclub, etc. etc. etc. I love doing these things, they keep me busy, make me feel alive. But at the same time, I'm a libra and we need balance. I have felt like I haven't had time to myself in weeks...time to just cook dinner, sit on the couch and read, take a bath, relax. It's been go-go-go. Due to my new account and the greater responsibility I have with it, I find myself checking email all the time, making lists of tomorrow's to-do's on top of responding to personal emails requesting a get-together.

I was thinking back to last year when I was spending time in the darkroom, ipod on, pulling photos. Or spending hours at the pottery wheel while house-sitting for my pottery teacher. Or the once a week Philo hikes to destress after a long day. Not to mention cooking dinner most nights of the week. My mum and I did some cooking over the weekend and it was so nice, so centering. I forgot how much cooking relaxes me and I just haven't even had time for it. I feel like over the past year I learned how to not put all my focus on me but to care for others more, to think of others first, to relish people and my connections with people. Last winter did this for me and it's a great thing to have gained but now I need to take that and merge it with my previous ability to factor myself in more. Merging the two will be the ultimate scale balance...it is key, and has been missing.