Two lives

This is my only pet peeve with Blogs is you don't update for a few weeks and you are so far behind you either have to post a long winded update or just skip over things and start at the current day. Hmm. I'll spare anyone who actually reads my blog the pain of reading about the past 2 months and jump to today.

I've been essentially living 2 separate lives the past 5 weeks. One, my normal life...work, friends, work travel, gym, cooking, etc. The other a world you can never prepare for, a world you aren't sure is real sometimes. A world that made me realize how important people in your life are...the ones you love. Friends, family, significant others. How overly important it is to spend time with these people and tell them how much you care for and love them, no matter how suffocating it may seem.

5 weeks ago I found myself walking into a room that I can honestly say embodied the worst day of my life, an experience I don't wish on my worst enemy. It put a lot into perspective. It also put me in a tailspin of having many days that I am not sure I can get through and some I do but end with a full on breakdown. It has been a test...physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Like I said, two different lives. Sometimes I go through the normal life and almost pretend the other isn't there...almost as a protector to insure my sanity, to insure I don't completely lose it. Then I remind myself how important the other life is in relation to my regular life...how it translates into what I was saying above about people.

I have learned about 1,000,000 things in the past 5 weeks but I think the most important one is to love the people in your life, love them fully and let them know it. Don't hold back, don't regret not saying things, not calling someone, not hugging someone, not spending time with someone. How lucky to be able to have people, friends, family you love. I am pretty sure that this experience has allowed me to more wholly love and care for people and that has truly been the thing getting me through many days.

Love the ones you are with.