A Funk

I don't know if it's the weird in-between-seasons weather or the fact I am not in a class so actually have some free time or if it's something else but I feel like I'm in a funk...no, I know I am. Things don't feel as smooth currently. My insomnia is back in full force which totally sucks. I have taken Ambien 3 nights in a row and even that barely worked. Arg. I wish I could convey how frustrating real insomnia is. Some people can't fall asleep sometimes or can't go to bed early but it's nothing like having lived with off and on insomnia for the better part of 10 years. I have tried everything...routine, yoga, meditation, natural sleep aids, Tylenol PM. Nothing works and a prescription from a Doctor is the only partial help I have found yet. Last night I fell asleep on the couch so I woke up and moved to the bed, but I could already tell an Ambien was in order. I think that's the worst part about it is when I KNOW it's going to be a full-on insomniac night...that thought alone stresses me out which surely doesn't help bring on sleep.

It also doesn't help that I've had a lot on my mind the past few days. Encounters, check lists, events, confusion. It bogs me down. I can't concentrate. I can't sleep. I can't plan. I can't organize. It's making me a little batty. Today I just wanted to stay in bed all day, hide from the world. The snow was softly falling onto what had been a totally snow free ground. I could almost hear the silence of it through the windows. I really wanted to just curl up and hide.

Thankfully the girls are coming over tonight...usually they can get me out of a funk, at least for a few hours. It's always when things seem to be s great, then a funk sneaks up on you and snatches your glow right out from under you.